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Old 02-24-2021, 09:07 PM   #1
GraceBuckley
 
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From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

I was just reading a post on the "Road Trip" discussion and someone raved about their 2005 DMB show at Roseland Ballroom in NYC. This reminded me that 10 yrs before their show, I saw DMB at Roseland, which then reminded me that the anniversary of that 2nd show is TODAY. TWENTY-SIX YEARS AGO TODAY! I can't believe it!

Sorry, this will be quite long...

Also of note is, it means that it's the 4th show of theirs I ever saw. I didn't know any of DMB's music, had just heard of them but won tix to see Big Head Todd and I'm pretty sure my 1st ever DMB show was Live Trax Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel in Providence, 1/31/95. When the tour started, Big Head Todd were the headliners. But as it progressed and the bigger and bigger crowds started to leave after DMB's set and before BHT's set, they quietly switched the lineup so BHT was 2nd (there was another support act 1st), then DMB.

So I went on a 2nd date with a guy to Lupo's and we loved BHT, but since it was a weeknight almost left back to Boston. But I figured "Hey, we've heard of this Dave Matthews Band, let's at least watch like 3 songs before we go.

1st 4 songs I ever saw DMB do were:
Seek Up
Minarets
Dancing Nancies -> Warehouse

Lover Lay Down was after that and, don't judge me, it was a weeknight and we left the show. But not before my mind was blown.

I'll paste the rest of the story from one of my 1st threads on this board (because I was out of the DMB loop for 9 yrs until 2017):

"I went to the first Roseland 2/23/95 show, which was only my 4th show ever. So I have gone from "DMB? Heard of them but never heard them." to "That drummer is incredible and that singer - bring me that singer on a platter!" (For the ladies and dudes who love them some Dave, remember this was back when he was almost so shy, if he wasn't singing he mostly had his back to the audience and was nowhere near center stage. I found that WILDLY adorable, and obviously the whole band was super talented, so...)

So then for my next show at Boston's Orpheum which was totally sold out, in the daytime in effort to find a ticket I am standing in the little vestibule where the ticket window is between the outer doors and the inner doors waiting to talk to a ticket person and out walks Dave. Another fan there who I was not with talks to him and he's very nice to them and tells them he's on his way to the hospital to visit his close friend. Damn. So now this guy is not only kinda shy seeming and wildly talented, he's like the kind of guy who, on a day he's got a sold out show to play in Boston, he takes time to go to visit his friend in the hospital. ::swoooooon:: That show was amazing, and I went to enough shows at the Orpheum that the security let me lurk after the show until Dave came out to say hello to the after show people. My 1st words to him were "Wow, your drummer is incredible!" He agreed wholeheartedly.

I had a very funny experience at the Northampton show which was my 3rd show, but that's a story in and of itself. Bottom line, by the end I went backstage and met the entire band, loveliest people ever.

I'm from NYC, and when I saw they were also playing Roseland (long sold out), I had to try. And my birthday is Feb 25, so these Feb 23 and Feb 24th shows seemed like a fitting birthday present.

I went Greyhound bus down to NYC and found a ticket quickly. I'm short, and Roseland is a wonky shape and I know the best place to sit is on a little side stage/ledge thing that is usually VIP, and was band guests for these shows. Saw the tour manager MM who I'd met in Boston and Northampton, so he let me sit in that area. There are no open tables but these 2 super nice women see me searching and invite me to sit with them. They are lovely and tell me they're friends of someone I've never heard of named Coran. I don't know who he is but when I meet him I quickly figure out he's central to the DMB folks, and am super grateful when he sorts me out for night 2 tix at Roseland.

As I write this, I think I have the right order of what happened after the shows but I might be getting the 2 nights mixed up. I think after the 1st show the 2 women invite me out with them and the whole band goes to a tiny Irish bar that they'd become fond of at prior NYC visits. It was super cool to be there with Coran's friends and meet the whole band again.

Night 2 (my 5th show), 2/24/95, I sat on that little side ledge again, absolutely ROCKED OUT to the music because between 1/31/95 and 2/23/95 I'd played UTTAD a zillion times and knew it backwards & forwards (but not Recently or R@T yet). Both shows were great but there was something extra insane about the energy N2. Plus John Popper & Trey Anastasio came out for the last songs and the notes here on Ants say that is still one of the most popular Watchtower's ever. It was my 1st with DMB I think and I was totally blown away.

Now somewhere late in this show, Dave mentions Tim Reynolds, longtime friend & partner in crime & collaborator, and that Tim's band TR3 is playing at a club called Fez, and they're all going over after the show. And I remember thinking "No way in HELL did they just tell 3,000 manic fans where they're going to hang after the show" so I didn't believe they were really going. But Coran's nice 2 friends invited me to share a cab with them and, well first after the theater was emptied, the band and guests gathered around one of the bars in Roseland to watch David Letterman. The notes here say it was their first appearance on national t.v., and needless to say looking back it was crazy to watch it air WITH the band righht there (and a lot of their friends). It was also the 1st time I met some of the band's girlfriends.

So then the 2 women and I go to Fez, and I figure hey, why not go even if the band won't be there, I'll get to see a musician the band thinks highly of. Walk into Fez, first I see Carter and he's super nice and talks, then Stefan who I talk to, and then Roi. All super friendly and sweet and surrounded by friends.

We go sit in a big booth, those big red Prohibition era booths, cuz Fez is like a speakeasy club. I end up in the middle of the booth, so good thing I have a strong bladder LOL! Soon after we sit down, Dave walks up, and everyone to my right gets out of the booth to let him in. Which means... he slides in and is now sitting next to me. 5th show in and I'm sitting in a booth, NEXT to Dave Matthews. No easy exit for either of us. He knows I'm a new fan so he probably was a bit "Erm, not my 1st choice of seatmate" in his head, but I knew the drill, stayed very calm, didn't fangirl out at all, and tried really hard not to bump elbows or knees. Only talked to him about Tim & TR3 which he was happy to talk about. A few times his girlfriend (now wife) came up to the table and they spoke their own sign language across the table, but she had her own table full of friends so she sat there. So I sat next to Dave for an entire set of TR3! When they went for a break, everyone got up and Dave left (was it something I said?? ). He made the rounds and that was the end of our quality time in the booth with 8 other people. But the whole Roseland experience... what an entree to DMB live, DMB's music, and the amazing people that make up the band, crew, management and fans! <3

And how crazy was that luck!?! Still shake my head even today, TWENTY-SIX damn years later. Several of the things that happened those first few shows were mostly because I was used to just walking up to random people and asking questions to start conversations. But the Fez thing was an extra dose of pure absurd fangirl luck to end up seated RIGHT.NEXT.TODAVE. for a whole TR3 set.
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Old 02-24-2021, 09:16 PM   #2
GraceBuckley
 
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

And... I just checked the setlist for that 2nd night, the last 2 songs were "Pay For What You Get" and "Halloween". 2 of my all time fave DMB songs, ever ever. No wonder I played the hell out of the cassette copies of that show I got from a fellow fan.
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Old 02-25-2021, 02:58 PM   #3
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceBuckley View Post
I was just reading a post on the "Road Trip" discussion and someone raved about their 2005 DMB show at Roseland Ballroom in NYC. This reminded me that 10 yrs before their show, I saw DMB at Roseland, which then reminded me that the anniversary of that 2nd show is TODAY. TWENTY-SIX YEARS AGO TODAY! I can't believe it!

Sorry, this will be quite long...

Also of note is, it means that it's the 4th show of theirs I ever saw. I didn't know any of DMB's music, had just heard of them but won tix to see Big Head Todd and I'm pretty sure my 1st ever DMB show was Live Trax Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel in Providence, 1/31/95. When the tour started, Big Head Todd were the headliners. But as it progressed and the bigger and bigger crowds started to leave after DMB's set and before BHT's set, they quietly switched the lineup so BHT was 2nd (there was another support act 1st), then DMB.

So I went on a 2nd date with a guy to Lupo's and we loved BHT, but since it was a weeknight almost left back to Boston. But I figured "Hey, we've heard of this Dave Matthews Band, let's at least watch like 3 songs before we go.

1st 4 songs I ever saw DMB do were:
Seek Up
Minarets
Dancing Nancies -> Warehouse

Lover Lay Down was after that and, don't judge me, it was a weeknight and we left the show. But not before my mind was blown.

I'll paste the rest of the story from one of my 1st threads on this board (because I was out of the DMB loop for 9 yrs until 2017):

"I went to the first Roseland 2/23/95 show, which was only my 4th show ever. So I have gone from "DMB? Heard of them but never heard them." to "That drummer is incredible and that singer - bring me that singer on a platter!" (For the ladies and dudes who love them some Dave, remember this was back when he was almost so shy, if he wasn't singing he mostly had his back to the audience and was nowhere near center stage. I found that WILDLY adorable, and obviously the whole band was super talented, so...)

So then for my next show at Boston's Orpheum which was totally sold out, in the daytime in effort to find a ticket I am standing in the little vestibule where the ticket window is between the outer doors and the inner doors waiting to talk to a ticket person and out walks Dave. Another fan there who I was not with talks to him and he's very nice to them and tells them he's on his way to the hospital to visit his close friend. Damn. So now this guy is not only kinda shy seeming and wildly talented, he's like the kind of guy who, on a day he's got a sold out show to play in Boston, he takes time to go to visit his friend in the hospital. ::swoooooon:: That show was amazing, and I went to enough shows at the Orpheum that the security let me lurk after the show until Dave came out to say hello to the after show people. My 1st words to him were "Wow, your drummer is incredible!" He agreed wholeheartedly.

I had a very funny experience at the Northampton show which was my 3rd show, but that's a story in and of itself. Bottom line, by the end I went backstage and met the entire band, loveliest people ever.

I'm from NYC, and when I saw they were also playing Roseland (long sold out), I had to try. And my birthday is Feb 25, so these Feb 23 and Feb 24th shows seemed like a fitting birthday present.

I went Greyhound bus down to NYC and found a ticket quickly. I'm short, and Roseland is a wonky shape and I know the best place to sit is on a little side stage/ledge thing that is usually VIP, and was band guests for these shows. Saw the tour manager MM who I'd met in Boston and Northampton, so he let me sit in that area. There are no open tables but these 2 super nice women see me searching and invite me to sit with them. They are lovely and tell me they're friends of someone I've never heard of named Coran. I don't know who he is but when I meet him I quickly figure out he's central to the DMB folks, and am super grateful when he sorts me out for night 2 tix at Roseland.

As I write this, I think I have the right order of what happened after the shows but I might be getting the 2 nights mixed up. I think after the 1st show the 2 women invite me out with them and the whole band goes to a tiny Irish bar that they'd become fond of at prior NYC visits. It was super cool to be there with Coran's friends and meet the whole band again.

Night 2 (my 5th show), 2/24/95, I sat on that little side ledge again, absolutely ROCKED OUT to the music because between 1/31/95 and 2/23/95 I'd played UTTAD a zillion times and knew it backwards & forwards (but not Recently or R@T yet). Both shows were great but there was something extra insane about the energy N2. Plus John Popper & Trey Anastasio came out for the last songs and the notes here on Ants say that is still one of the most popular Watchtower's ever. It was my 1st with DMB I think and I was totally blown away.

Now somewhere late in this show, Dave mentions Tim Reynolds, longtime friend & partner in crime & collaborator, and that Tim's band TR3 is playing at a club called Fez, and they're all going over after the show. And I remember thinking "No way in HELL did they just tell 3,000 manic fans where they're going to hang after the show" so I didn't believe they were really going. But Coran's nice 2 friends invited me to share a cab with them and, well first after the theater was emptied, the band and guests gathered around one of the bars in Roseland to watch David Letterman. The notes here say it was their first appearance on national t.v., and needless to say looking back it was crazy to watch it air WITH the band righht there (and a lot of their friends). It was also the 1st time I met some of the band's girlfriends.

So then the 2 women and I go to Fez, and I figure hey, why not go even if the band won't be there, I'll get to see a musician the band thinks highly of. Walk into Fez, first I see Carter and he's super nice and talks, then Stefan who I talk to, and then Roi. All super friendly and sweet and surrounded by friends.

We go sit in a big booth, those big red Prohibition era booths, cuz Fez is like a speakeasy club. I end up in the middle of the booth, so good thing I have a strong bladder LOL! Soon after we sit down, Dave walks up, and everyone to my right gets out of the booth to let him in. Which means... he slides in and is now sitting next to me. 5th show in and I'm sitting in a booth, NEXT to Dave Matthews. No easy exit for either of us. He knows I'm a new fan so he probably was a bit "Erm, not my 1st choice of seatmate" in his head, but I knew the drill, stayed very calm, didn't fangirl out at all, and tried really hard not to bump elbows or knees. Only talked to him about Tim & TR3 which he was happy to talk about. A few times his girlfriend (now wife) came up to the table and they spoke their own sign language across the table, but she had her own table full of friends so she sat there. So I sat next to Dave for an entire set of TR3! When they went for a break, everyone got up and Dave left (was it something I said?? ). He made the rounds and that was the end of our quality time in the booth with 8 other people. But the whole Roseland experience... what an entree to DMB live, DMB's music, and the amazing people that make up the band, crew, management and fans! <3

And how crazy was that luck!?! Still shake my head even today, TWENTY-SIX damn years later. Several of the things that happened those first few shows were mostly because I was used to just walking up to random people and asking questions to start conversations. But the Fez thing was an extra dose of pure absurd fangirl luck to end up seated RIGHT.NEXT.TODAVE. for a whole TR3 set.
Super cool! I also sat next to Dave at a show back in 1994. I was in Boulder after they played at the Fox Theater and he came next door to Tulagis where a member of the Samples was playing with a different act.. I really didn't even know that DMB was going to be a big thing, but we chatted for awhile about the Samples and Red Rocks and South Africa. He said if they were ever were to release a big live album they'd do it at Red Rocks. He was very grateful to Colorado and the music scene here inviting the band out for there first big trip away from the east coast.
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Old 02-25-2021, 03:53 PM   #4
GraceBuckley
 
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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Originally Posted by HonestDenver1 View Post
Super cool! I also sat next to Dave at a show back in 1994. I was in Boulder after they played at the Fox Theater and he came next door to Tulagis where a member of the Samples was playing with a different act.. I really didn't even know that DMB was going to be a big thing, but we chatted for awhile about the Samples and Red Rocks and South Africa. He said if they were ever were to release a big live album they'd do it at Red Rocks. He was very grateful to Colorado and the music scene here inviting the band out for there first big trip away from the east coast.
So very VERY cool to meet someone else who had such a similar experience! The Samples are great too, that would have been a cool show to sit next to him at and shoot the breeze! And you had a heads up on Red Rocks... COOL!
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Old 02-25-2021, 04:08 PM   #5
Dagwin
 
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

And then Dave wrote a song about his experience sitting by you (OP): Grace is Gone.
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Old 02-25-2021, 09:31 PM   #6
GraceBuckley
 
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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And then Dave wrote a song about his experience sitting by you (OP): Grace is Gone.
In a way that would be a legit conclusion to draw, cuz I was gone (didn't go to any shows or see the band members) basically from '04 to now, so 16 years. But my real name isn't Grace, so I can't take credit for that.
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Old 02-25-2021, 07:59 PM   #7
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

This is awesome! Do you have any pictures from this? Can you tell us more about what it was like talking to the other band members in that early backstage setting?
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Old 02-25-2021, 09:50 PM   #8
GraceBuckley
 
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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This is awesome! Do you have any pictures from this? Can you tell us more about what it was like talking to the other band members in that early backstage setting?
I really wish I had more photos than I do. My early experiences with other bands taught me that if I want to be "one of the guys" and be someone they can just hang with, I don't ask for photos or take photos. I do have a few from the very earliest days, I'll see what I have in the house (most of my stuff in storage).

I can tell you that talking to them in the earliest days was just... they were so sweet, so smart, and so FUCKING FUNNY... At my 3rd show I met them all, including Carter's older daughter (or maybe he just told me about her, I remember talking to him about her and he had family there), Roi was INSANELY smart and funny, Dave was back and forth between a bit shy and also crazy observant, smart and funny, and Stefan & Boyd also friendly but I didn't get to know them a lot better until later.

They all traveled on the same single tour bus (as opposed to each having their own which happened later) through at least '98, maybe 99. I found that way more fun because, well it was everyone on one bus. After shows a lot of times in the early days, even where there were dressing rooms in the venue, the band many gathered on the bus (except Dave or Dave & Boyd who did the aftershow meet and greets most often). Music would be mostly great R&B or some jazz. I remember Carter & Roi playing DJ the most on the bus, but maybe that wasn't always the case.

And in those days you could tell them something and they'd sometimes actually follow up. I was somewhere and "the worst movie ever" was a topic, and someone mentioned some horrible movie I'd never seen, and I told them the movie. Some months later somehow it came up again and Dave had actually found it on VHS and watched it, and apparently it really was, possibly, the worst movie ever. I just couldn't believe he found it and watched it! I know I should remember the name, but I did write it down in my little journal from that time (which is the only reason I remember this happened) so sometime I'll go look for it.

Last thing I'll say, which is a personal special factor from those earlier days, is that I was lucky enough to meet ALL of their mothers. Every main band member, all 5, I met each of their moms. Which was such a gift, because Carter's mom died I think a year later, and I have no idea if all the rest of their moms are still alive or not. That felt much more natural or easy in those days, I can't imagine their moms go a lot now or that it's as chill that you just cross paths with them backstage now, but who knows....

I hope that gave you some idea of what it was like then! OH, and when they first got the in-ear-monitors, before smart fellow fans figured out how to tap into the frequency and listen in too, a few shows I was lucky to stand side stage near the monitor area and be offered the headphones that, when you listened, you could hear the banter, mostly between Dave & Carter but also others at times. THAT WAS PURE COMEDY! Some of the funniest shit I ever heard, which probably a lot of folks here have heard because didn't people start finding a way to record those and share them? I feel like I remember that but maybe I imagined it....

Thanks for asking, it was good to reminisce!
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Old 02-26-2021, 10:58 AM   #9
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceBuckley View Post
I really wish I had more photos than I do. My early experiences with other bands taught me that if I want to be "one of the guys" and be someone they can just hang with, I don't ask for photos or take photos. I do have a few from the very earliest days, I'll see what I have in the house (most of my stuff in storage).

I can tell you that talking to them in the earliest days was just... they were so sweet, so smart, and so FUCKING FUNNY... At my 3rd show I met them all, including Carter's older daughter (or maybe he just told me about her, I remember talking to him about her and he had family there), Roi was INSANELY smart and funny, Dave was back and forth between a bit shy and also crazy observant, smart and funny, and Stefan & Boyd also friendly but I didn't get to know them a lot better until later.

They all traveled on the same single tour bus (as opposed to each having their own which happened later) through at least '98, maybe 99. I found that way more fun because, well it was everyone on one bus. After shows a lot of times in the early days, even where there were dressing rooms in the venue, the band many gathered on the bus (except Dave or Dave & Boyd who did the aftershow meet and greets most often). Music would be mostly great R&B or some jazz. I remember Carter & Roi playing DJ the most on the bus, but maybe that wasn't always the case.

And in those days you could tell them something and they'd sometimes actually follow up. I was somewhere and "the worst movie ever" was a topic, and someone mentioned some horrible movie I'd never seen, and I told them the movie. Some months later somehow it came up again and Dave had actually found it on VHS and watched it, and apparently it really was, possibly, the worst movie ever. I just couldn't believe he found it and watched it! I know I should remember the name, but I did write it down in my little journal from that time (which is the only reason I remember this happened) so sometime I'll go look for it.

Last thing I'll say, which is a personal special factor from those earlier days, is that I was lucky enough to meet ALL of their mothers. Every main band member, all 5, I met each of their moms. Which was such a gift, because Carter's mom died I think a year later, and I have no idea if all the rest of their moms are still alive or not. That felt much more natural or easy in those days, I can't imagine their moms go a lot now or that it's as chill that you just cross paths with them backstage now, but who knows....

I hope that gave you some idea of what it was like then! OH, and when they first got the in-ear-monitors, before smart fellow fans figured out how to tap into the frequency and listen in too, a few shows I was lucky to stand side stage near the monitor area and be offered the headphones that, when you listened, you could hear the banter, mostly between Dave & Carter but also others at times. THAT WAS PURE COMEDY! Some of the funniest shit I ever heard, which probably a lot of folks here have heard because didn't people start finding a way to record those and share them? I feel like I remember that but maybe I imagined it....

Thanks for asking, it was good to reminisce!
Wow. I mean meeting their mothers. What a treat. I never would think to meet my favorite bands mothers. And all 5 of them? Was it all once or over the course of time? Like oh wow I just met Dave's mom last year, and then Carter's mom shows up at the show your at this year? Really neat stuff there.

I coincidentally met all their dads except for Dave's obviously. They came to the Boulder show I was talking about. No moms though which is weird. I wonder if any of the dads were there when you meet the moms?
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Old 02-26-2021, 11:19 AM   #10
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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Wow. I mean meeting their mothers. What a treat. I never would think to meet my favorite bands mothers. And all 5 of them? Was it all once or over the course of time? Like oh wow I just met Dave's mom last year, and then Carter's mom shows up at the show your at this year? Really neat stuff there.

I coincidentally met all their dads except for Dave's obviously. They came to the Boulder show I was talking about. No moms though which is weird. I wonder if any of the dads were there when you meet the moms?
No, the moms were not all at once although I think 3 were at the 1st Nissan Pavilian (so closest "hometown" show at an amphitheater in those days) show I was backstage for, so that was 3 moms at once. But 2 moms I met several times, and I think 1 mom or maybe 2 were at Madison Sq. Garden which is another "once in a lifetime" show to attend, until of course your kid's band plays MSG like every other week LOL!

And though I met her in briefly a couple of times, my favorite time meeting Dave's mom was at a lunch place during a D&T tour that most of the touring folks were all at the same lunch place, and I was having lunch with a couple of people working on the tour and got up to go to the bathroom and saw Dave & his mom, and when he saw me he called me over & introduced me to her and we all talked about food, art (started with art on walls in lunch place) and a few other things. She's awesome, no surprise there!

I think I only met 2 of the dads. And not at the same time as any moms.

That's wild, how did you meet all the dads (except Dave's) in Boulder? They were all at one show? Was it a "DMB Dad Convening" or just chance that they all went to Boulder? Very cool! And what year was it? So Roi's dad was there or this was after 2008? What were your most lasting impressions of them?
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Old 02-26-2021, 11:24 AM   #11
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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No, the moms were not all at once although I think 3 were at the 1st Nissan Pavilian (so closest "hometown" show at an amphitheater in those days) show I was backstage for, so that was 3 moms at once. But 2 moms I met several times, and I think 1 mom or maybe 2 were at Madison Sq. Garden which is another "once in a lifetime" show to attend, until of course your kid's band plays MSG like every other week LOL!

And though I met her in briefly a couple of times, my favorite time meeting Dave's mom was at a lunch place during a D&T tour that most of the touring folks were all at the same lunch place, and I was having lunch with a couple of people working on the tour and got up to go to the bathroom and saw Dave & his mom, and when he saw me he called me over & introduced me to her and we all talked about food, art (started with art on walls in lunch place) and a few other things. She's awesome, no surprise there!

I think I only met 2 of the dads. And not at the same time as any moms.

That's wild, how did you meet all the dads (except Dave's) in Boulder? They were all at one show? Was it a "DMB Dad Convening" or just chance that they all went to Boulder? Very cool! And what year was it? So Roi's dad was there or this was after 2008? What were your most lasting impressions of them?
Sorry, I think you did say it was '94. So was Roi's dad there? I guess so since you said all but Dave?
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Old 02-26-2021, 12:04 PM   #12
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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No, the moms were not all at once although I think 3 were at the 1st Nissan Pavilian (so closest "hometown" show at an amphitheater in those days) show I was backstage for, so that was 3 moms at once. But 2 moms I met several times, and I think 1 mom or maybe 2 were at Madison Sq. Garden which is another "once in a lifetime" show to attend, until of course your kid's band plays MSG like every other week LOL!

And though I met her in briefly a couple of times, my favorite time meeting Dave's mom was at a lunch place during a D&T tour that most of the touring folks were all at the same lunch place, and I was having lunch with a couple of people working on the tour and got up to go to the bathroom and saw Dave & his mom, and when he saw me he called me over & introduced me to her and we all talked about food, art (started with art on walls in lunch place) and a few other things. She's awesome, no surprise there!

I think I only met 2 of the dads. And not at the same time as any moms.

That's wild, how did you meet all the dads (except Dave's) in Boulder? They were all at one show? Was it a "DMB Dad Convening" or just chance that they all went to Boulder? Very cool! And what year was it? So Roi's dad was there or this was after 2008? What were your most lasting impressions of them?
3momsatthesametime.com is a website you can check out. It's not DMB related though.
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Old 02-25-2021, 11:01 PM   #13
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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This is awesome! Do you have any pictures from this? Can you tell us more about what it was like talking to the other band members in that early backstage setting?
I think I can post this pic actually. I mean what I say when I say I have SO FEW pics with them, but this was from maybe my 7th show and because everyone in the room was getting pics with Dave, I asked for one too. Someone had given him this baseball hat, I don't think I've ever seen him in one since and this was like 20+ yrs ago!

Also, this is the 1st selfie I've ever been in. Dave, ahead of his time as always, doing selfies before they were "a thing", a big thing!

Lastly I'm super private, not into my pic on the internet, so I'm a little in disguise here but Dave is clearly Dave...
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Old 02-26-2021, 02:15 PM   #14
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

Cool stories, thanks for sharing! It's rare to get something so nice and positive these days when it comes to DMB.
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Old 02-26-2021, 03:07 PM   #15
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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Cool stories, thanks for sharing! It's rare to get something so nice and positive these days when it comes to DMB.
Thanks, I appreciate you saying that. Honestly it's one of the reasons I enjoy risking all of your eyesight with these impossibly long posts, because I know how hard these more personal, sweet views/memories can be to come by, especially after a year of no touring.

And even though no one's asked (probably out of politeness), there's obviously a reason (or a few reasons) I'm not friends with them anymore. Mostly the passing of time, but other reasons too. And yet I can look back at these times and be clear that then, and I'm sure now as well, there are so many beautiful humans and moments and actions and situations in the DMB camp... that yield such amazing music, shows, and stories to tell. So I tell these stories with great joy and don't mind at all that I am not in and out of that inner circle anymore. Not being connected anymore doesn't dim my joy with the times I had or make me want to spill a bunch of stuff that is a) private and b) maybe a little less bright and shiny.

So I appreciate what you say and I share with a smile and a gleam in my eye. And wishing everyone the best, here on Ants and in the band and their world.
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Old 02-26-2021, 04:55 PM   #16
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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Thanks, I appreciate you saying that. Honestly it's one of the reasons I enjoy risking all of your eyesight with these impossibly long posts, because I know how hard these more personal, sweet views/memories can be to come by, especially after a year of no touring.

And even though no one's asked (probably out of politeness), there's obviously a reason (or a few reasons) I'm not friends with them anymore. Mostly the passing of time, but other reasons too. And yet I can look back at these times and be clear that then, and I'm sure now as well, there are so many beautiful humans and moments and actions and situations in the DMB camp... that yield such amazing music, shows, and stories to tell. So I tell these stories with great joy and don't mind at all that I am not in and out of that inner circle anymore. Not being connected anymore doesn't dim my joy with the times I had or make me want to spill a bunch of stuff that is a) private and b) maybe a little less bright and shiny.

So I appreciate what you say and I share with a smile and a gleam in my eye. And wishing everyone the best, here on Ants and in the band and their world.
Strange how you can be so close that you'd meet the moms, but then fall out just a short time later.. I'm in the same boat. What I wouldn't give to go hang out with their families back stage during a show again. Talk about politics and golf, love of sailing etc... I miss it.
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Old 02-26-2021, 06:00 PM   #17
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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Strange how you can be so close that you'd meet the moms, but then fall out just a short time later.. I'm in the same boat. What I wouldn't give to go hang out with their families back stage during a show again. Talk about politics and golf, love of sailing etc... I miss it.
It's cool, I guess I don't feel like it was "a short time later" in my situation. I had a great 9 yr run, that started off pretty quickly with hanging out a lot, so I feel very good about that run. And I had a choice, I could have kept hanging out, but I think it was time for me to make some changes in my focus.

But I know what you mean, and if I were to go to a show in 2022 say, it would be SO nice to just waltz backstage and pick up where we left off. I did see Tim, some crew at a Radiohead concert and after a moment of "Whoa, yeah, hey!" he introduced me to his wife and we had several great exchanges (we were sitting right behind them). At the end Dave & his wife raced by (they were sitting several rows behind us) and with both it was only the quickest eye contact but with both they looked, did a double take, and the smiles were sweet, it was good vibes for sure. And that was just 2 yrs ago. So if I go and just keep to myself in the audience, cuz I am curious about what they're like live now, it'll be weird, and I'll miss old times, but it'll be good too and I am at peace with it all. 2020 gave me lots of perspective on blessings!

Also, - you should know by now I'm about to go on another rant, so read at your own peril LOL! - even though having kids definitely has taken me out of the "Just jump on the traveling circus for the East Coast when you want to" adventures I loved so much then, every now and then I still experience the joy of hanging out with artists I admire greatly. I'm a much bigger Pearl Jam fan and though I've also drifted far away from their circle, in 2018 I went to 2 Seattle PJ shows, 2 Boston, and had "extra special" experiences at all, including getting to say hey to band members, VIP access to when they showed the Night 1 concert footage at a theater between Nights 1 & 2, VIP tour of the PJ exhibit at MoPop as part of a party hosted by band staff, and a crazy unexpected bonding experience with a band member's family during the best show (Seattle 2, 2018).

I actually found my journals from '95-'96, '98 and '00, which include PJ shows, DMB shows, and other bands. There was so much I'd forgotten, and I think even more than missing hanging and talking to DMB & their families, I think I miss the times it really sank in that I was "one of the guys". As a woman, you're often worried about people getting the wrong idea about why you're there or how they need to act in your presence. Damn if the band didn't "let their hair down" so many times and I just LOVED IT. I jumped right in with the banter and I'll always treasure those times most of all.

Now I go to far fewer shows in gen'l (and no DMB), but I did get to "Use my powers for good" for someone else in 2019. My tween daughter had found her 1st music obsession that was HER artist: Billie Eilish. By the time she got fully obsessed, the current theater tour Eilish was doing at the time was long sold out. But I trusted my gut, found a date in a nearby city on a weekend, and said to my daughter "Ok, look, we're gonna do a road trip and there are NO GUARANTEES. The most we may get out of it is some pre-show people watching & a good meal. Can you live with that?" We drove to another city and as we pulled up at the theater, there were 2 tour buses in front and a lot of guys in black with passes. But there was this one guy... I said out loud "HIM, that's the guy! Come on!" and almost hit a pole parking the car so fast and trying to race out so we didn't miss him.

I'd never seen this guy, had no clue what his role on the tour was. Went up, introduced ourselves, and made one request, which was NOT for tickets nor was it to meet EIlish. It was something very simple. At first he was like "Oh, that's not my area, I don't deal with that." But then he said "Well, check the box office for tix, but if you don't get any I may be able to help you. Wait in front AFTER they start letting people in."

Checked the box office, no tix (it was SO sold totally out and it was a ZOO, almost dangerous outside because it was largely a GA show). But he came out after they started letting people in and pulled us aside. He said "Ok, for your request, here, take these-" and gave us 2 wristbands, and said "Go do what you asked, and then... enjoy the show!" we looked at the wristbands, VIP! We found out inside that our section were tix originally sold at $399/ticket We had great sightlines (one level up from floor so almost even with the stage) and my daughter cried for joy. And we BOTH sang along for most of the show and rocked out!

I think the guy was going to try to get my daughter to meet her too after, but the crowd outside got too crazy so we were just happy to have seen the show. Found out what this guy's job is... let's just say I couldn't have lucked out more on asking a better person.

At times like that, I don't miss not being able to go to DMB or other shows now, I'm just glad I had the times I had. And that I remember a thing or 2 about how to act in case it comes in handy now

I don't know what happened with you that created the distance, but I do hope for you that sometime soon, with the reflective treasures that Covid & lockdown have given so many of us, I hope you get to another few shows and luck just happens and you find yourself where you want to be. And then please come back and write about it so I can live it vicariously thorugh you!
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Old 02-27-2021, 03:33 PM   #18
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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I had a very funny experience at the Northampton show which was my 3rd show, but that's a story in and of itself. Bottom line, by the end I went backstage and met the entire band, loveliest people ever.
Can you tell us this story? It seems like this was the first time you really connected with someone directly in the DMB camp and one of the main reasons you were able to get into the DMB circle

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I'd never seen this guy, had no clue what his role on the tour was. Went up, introduced ourselves, and made one request, which was NOT for tickets nor was it to meet EIlish. It was something very simple. At first he was like "Oh, that's not my area, I don't deal with that." But then he said "Well, check the box office for tix, but if you don't get any I may be able to help you. Wait in front AFTER they start letting people in."

!
What was the request? You have to share your magical ways with us. How does one get VIP tickets, and almost get a meet and greet, by asking a question that isn't a direct request for tickets and access?
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Old 02-26-2021, 04:53 PM   #19
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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Cool stories, thanks for sharing! It's rare to get something so nice and positive these days when it comes to DMB.
Thanks! It's really great to be able to share with someone who "gets" it.
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Old 03-01-2021, 10:20 AM   #20
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

Grace, amazing stories! Random question -- do you remember the name of the little NYC irish bar in the OP or where it was? I used to live there, had lots of favorites and was curious if I'd been to the one you were talking about.
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Old 03-01-2021, 01:08 PM   #21
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Re: From "DMB who?" to sitting next to Dave in a club booth @ TR3 in FIVE SHOWS

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Grace, amazing stories! Random question -- do you remember the name of the little NYC irish bar in the OP or where it was? I used to live there, had lots of favorites and was curious if I'd been to the one you were talking about.
Hi there, I'm just going to assume that since this was going on THIRTY YEARS AGO... and also because in my later years of hanging out with DMB in NYC I don't ever remember anyone mentioning hanging back at this bar again... I'm gonna guess I wouldn't be breaking the cardinal rule of "respect privacy" if I named it. So I'll dig out that journal and find it, I tried googling what I thought it was called but I'm definitely off in the name (even if it's closed since then it should still come up.)

That said I can say this: were any of your favorite Irish bars near 14th St. in Manhattan? Because that's where this one was...
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