Dating is miserable

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by gregory311

That sucks about your uncle. Was he a good guy? I've got an uncle Tom. He's a little fucked up.

He was a very good man. He was a Brother at St. Hyacinth's Church down in Chicago for many years. He was basically my Godfather. Anytime we needed anything as children, he always helped my parents get through. He had diabetes and was approaching 70. He went peacefully in his sleep which is what he always wanted...

[gregory311]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

He was a very good man. He was a Brother at St. Hyacinth's Church down in Chicago for many years. He was basically my Godfather. Anytime we needed anything as children, he always helped my parents get through. He had diabetes and was approaching 70. He went peacefully in his sleep which is what he always wanted...

Hang in there with that, my condolences to you and your family.

[ovationman240]

Originally Posted by neumdogg

It's time for you to fuck a random chick. Get it out of your system. Use someone.

Then go back to dating.

You obviously know what you're talking about.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

So I'm somehow juggling talking to 6 different girls right now. I figure since I'm just in that preliminary email/phone call stage I might as well play the percentages. Just talked to one girl who told me to call her right? So I do, and she's driving home and the conversation was nonexistent. One word answer after one word answer. And I was coming up with good, open ended questions. I even tell a story about getting pulled over hoping she'll open up a bit, and nothing. Then she says her phone's about to die and she'll talk to me later. Wtf? Why'd you text me to call you?

So this girl just texted me back finally asking how I'm doing and how I've been. Really? Hum. Not sure what to say for right now..


Really been on the phone talking and webcam'ing with this girl I was supposed to go out with tonight though all day.

[Carbon Copy]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

He was a very good man. He was a Brother at St. Hyacinth's Church down in Chicago for many years. He was basically my Godfather. Anytime we needed anything as children, he always helped my parents get through. He had diabetes and was approaching 70. He went peacefully in his sleep which is what he always wanted...

condolences my friend, my friend

[junior94]

What I think I've come to realize is probably my main problem... and I suppose I'll see if anyone can relate... simply put, I'm far too self aware. I'm too self aware of how inherently silly and kind of demeaning the whole process is, and I just can't shut off that part of my brain that recognizes that fact, whereas I think maybe others that certainly realize the same issues, they can block it out and ably "play the game". And it's definitely not my way of saying I'm better or anything, that well I'm smarter because I know about this, not at all, hell if anything it makes me worse because of my inability to shut that off. And like particularly a thing like a Singles Mixer, in fact the local big morning show here in Philly has a few infamous "Painfully Singles Mixer"s a year, and (well ok, besides just even my issue with feeling especially uncomfortable in larger crowds) as much as in theory I'd love to go to one of these, in that environment it's the same self awareness but hiked up into overdrive. It's "yea, okay, this is obviously what we're here for... so let's get the talking and flirting going, yea?"

ughh, it just makes me cringe, the thought of that I hope I'm explaining this what I mean well enough.

[Tiduwho]

Well, I'm back on for a date with this girl tonight. Going to Gino's East for Chicago Style Pizza and then out for a few drinks.


She really kinda likes me right now, so let's hope I come through in the clutch.

[PinkFloydDudi]

Originally Posted by junior94

What I think I've come to realize is probably my main problem... and I suppose I'll see if anyone can relate... simply put, I'm far too self aware. I'm too self aware of how inherently silly and kind of demeaning the whole process is, and I just can't shut off that part of my brain that recognizes that fact, whereas I think maybe others that certainly realize the same issues, they can block it out and ably "play the game". And it's definitely not my way of saying I'm better or anything, that well I'm smarter because I know about this, not at all, hell if anything it makes me worse because of my inability to shut that off. And like particularly a thing like a Singles Mixer, in fact the local big morning show here in Philly has a few infamous "Painfully Singles Mixer"s a year, and (well ok, besides just even my issue with feeling especially uncomfortable in larger crowds) as much as in theory I'd love to go to one of these, in that environment it's the same self awareness but hiked up into overdrive. It's "yea, okay, this is obviously what we're here for... so let's get the talking and flirting going, yea?"

ughh, it just makes me cringe, the thought of that I hope I'm explaining this what I mean well enough.

What is demeaning about "the game"?

If anything, I'd think it demeans the guys! Hell the girls hold all the aces in most of the situations. I see nothing but mutual benefit from the chase of a piece of ass.

Silly? Most definitely. Oh man people do the dumbest shit. But is that really a bad thing (as long as no one gets hurt of course)

[Tiduwho]

The dumb stuff can be kinda fun though. All that flirty talk is in search of some kind of connection. Once you find something, whether it be fake fight challenges, or making fun of each other, or quoting movies, you find something to connect and make "yours". Without it, you're just having a conversation. Which is boring, and doesn't breed chemistry.

[junior94]

Originally Posted by PinkFloydDudi

I see nothing but mutual benefit from the chase of a piece of ass.

I didn't say there wasn't. Mostly everyone would enjoy and appreciate some quality companionship, if not only just a warm body for the night.

[junior94]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

The dumb stuff can be kinda fun though. All that flirty talk is in search of some kind of connection. Once you find something, whether it be fake fight challenges, or making fun of each other, or quoting movies, you find something to connect and make "yours". Without it, you're just having a conversation. Which is boring, and doesn't breed chemistry.

Well maybe it's just on me, then, that I'm just friggin clueless on how to actually start it, and/or just too goddamn tired anymore to figure out a way.

[PinkFloydDudi]

Originally Posted by junior94

I didn't say there wasn't. Mostly everyone would enjoy and appreciate some quality companionship, if not only just a warm body for the night.

lol..was that a nice way of saying "everyone loves a slut"?

I've heard your comment regarding demeaning before in talks with people, never quite understood where that thought came from. The closest I've come to getting it, is mostly with girls, that feel its demeaning because they do all these things to look pretty and such, and are judged against each other.
But the flip side is guys do the same thing. And the worst is that 99% of the time, the women are the judges with the men acting like circus clowns to get their attention.

[junior94]

Originally Posted by PinkFloydDudi

lol..was that a nice way of saying "everyone loves a slut"?

errr... no, not at all. It was a way of reiterating that of course there's mutual benefit to be gained in "the chase", because (& now to clarify) mostly everyone's interested in having a loving relationship, or if not, at least some relatively stress-free fun for a single night or two. Be it man or woman.

I've heard your comment regarding demeaning before in talks with people, never quite understood where that thought came from. The closest I've come to getting it, is mostly with girls, that feel its demeaning because they do all these things to look pretty and such, and are judged against each other.
But the flip side is guys do the same thing. And the worst is that 99% of the time, the women are the judges with the men acting like circus clowns to get their attention.

Well that's interesting, because I'm not sure I recall ever really making that particular point as a part of anything I've said before, no matter what the thread

[PinkFloydDudi]

Originally Posted by junior94

Well that's interesting, because I'm not sure I recall ever really making that particular point as a part of anything I've said before, no matter what the thread

Didn't say that was your point, which is why I asked why you felt it was demeaning. That was just what I've heard from others that say similar things, doesn't mean your reasoning even remotely resembles theirs

[temptedcandyman]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Well, I'm back on for a date with this girl tonight. Going to Gino's East for Chicago Style Pizza and then out for a few drinks.


She really kinda likes me right now, so let's hope I come through in the clutch.

Dude.. Ginos East is delicious. Too bad the last time I ate there my gf of 4 years broke up with me...

*enter Debbie Downer here*

[PinkFloydDudi]

Originally Posted by temptedcandyman

Dude.. Ginos East is delicious. Too bad the last time I ate there my gf of 4 years broke up with me...

*enter Debbie Downer here*

Did she still make you pay for dinner?

[temptedcandyman]

Originally Posted by PinkFloydDudi

Did she still make you pay for dinner?

Oh yeah. But I took the leftover pizza. So... I don't know how we want to score this, I think she may still have come out on top.

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by temptedcandyman

Dude.. Ginos East is delicious. Too bad the last time I ate there my gf of 4 years broke up with me...

*enter Debbie Downer here*

We have a place for people like you:

http://antsmarching.org/forum/showthread.php?t=239810

[PinkFloydDudi]

Originally Posted by temptedcandyman

Oh yeah. But I took the leftover pizza. So... I don't know how we want to score this, I think she may still have come out on top.

doubtful.

You -1
Her - 0

final answer.
lol

[dmbgodagirl41]

Yeah if you get to take the leftovers, winner winner chicken [pizza] dinner.

[junior94]

Originally Posted by PinkFloydDudi

Didn't say that was your point, which is why I asked why you felt it was demeaning. That was just what I've heard from others that say similar things, doesn't mean your reasoning even remotely resembles theirs

Apologies, misunderstood you.

I'm not really sure how to further explain why I feel it's demeaning.. either that or I just don't really feel like trying to go deeper into it at this particular moment

[Tiduwho]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

Well, I'm back on for a date with this girl tonight. Going to Gino's East for Chicago Style Pizza and then out for a few drinks.


She really kinda likes me right now, so let's hope I come through in the clutch.

9.5/10

Went great. After Gino's and a few drinks, she said we should go back to my house and watch a movie. So we went back and watched 40 Year Old Virgin (note to self: I need some guy/girl date-like movies in my repertoire). I guess she was waiting all night for me to kiss her, because when I did she bursts out afterward with "It's about time!"

She spent the night, and we listened to music together. For a first date, I can't believe how well we connected!


I'm definitely taking it easy and with a grain of salt though. We all know girls.

[Bohrman26]

My problem with dating? I'm too picky. I know it and it's a double edged sword. Sucks. But I refuse to settle.

[gonz085]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

9.5/10

Went great. After Gino's and a few drinks, she said we should go back to my house and watch a movie. So we went back and watched 40 Year Old Virgin (note to self: I need some guy/girl date-like movies in my repertoire). I guess she was waiting all night for me to kiss her, because when I did she bursts out afterward with "It's about time!"

She spent the night, and we listened to music together. For a first date, I can't believe how well we connected!


I'm definitely taking it easy and with a grain of salt though. We all know girls.

that's awesome man! sounds like it was great.

[dmbgodagirl41]

Originally Posted by junior94

Apologies, misunderstood you.

I'm not really sure how to further explain why I feel it's demeaning.. either that or I just don't really feel like trying to go deeper into it at this particular moment

Your problem could also stem from the fact that any time a few cool people invite you to go out to dinner, you turn them down, as though sitting at home is more fun.

Just a thought. Not going to meet anyone sitting at home.

[ovationman240]

Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41

Your problem could also stem from the fact that any time a few cool people invite you to go out to dinner, you turn them down, as though sitting at home is more fun.

Just a thought. Not going to meet anyone sitting at home.

AntsMarching Forums >>> Sexual relations.

[Tiduwho]

Okay, well looks like i gotta "Play the "Game" again. So dumb. Ya know, I really kinda hate meeting people lol. I'll go into details later.

[Tiduwho]

Not sure what to think. So me and this girl were supposed to do something again tonight. The first date was fantastic, and she couldn't stop intimating how much she liked me. She just sent me a text this morning though that said “Sorry, we should do something sat night or wait til Sunday, something came up with the family”. Odd.

Yesterday we talked a few times and things were still pretty great. She said she had a really good time, and was asking if I liked her and being all playful. Well, I know later her ex called her, but I guess to reiterate that they were done, so she was crying or something. I talked to her late last night after Cardboard Canoe Races (I got 2nd place!) thing, and she said she was in Fon Du Lac, on top of a lighthouse (lol huh?), but didn’t really tell me who she was with….the other night she told me her ex lived in Fon Du Lac I think.

In other words, I’m feeling like something didn’t come up with the family, something came up with the ex. Which was my one hesitant thing about her, she’s coming off a fresh breakup….what to do now? Hum..

[Tiduwho]

I already know what I’m going to do though: Nada. Just not respond at all, and not answer her calls. I let her know straight out that I didn’t want to deal with any kind of ex stuff, and she promised me there wouldn’t be any and kissed me.

The best way to deal with a girl: no response. Let her think I’m off having fun without her or at least have her start wondering what I’m doing and worrying she might screw up something. If I’m calling her, it’s like preliminarily signaling I'm the kind of guy that would be in her back pocket. Sorry, you're not gonna hear from me if you're going to blow me off (kinda, i know I'm just assuming this that's why I'm not saying anything whatsoever...let her think whatever she wants).

In the meantime? Eh, oh well. I’m gonna call this other girl tonight. She’s already called me once and I didn’t answer. I was really liking this girl too, but wasn’t gonna call her back because of how well things went with girl 1. But if girl 1's off still sorting things out, I might as well. You know?

[thebridge15]

Originally Posted by Tiduwho

I already know what I’m going to do though: Nada. Just not respond at all, and not answer her calls. I let her know straight out that I didn’t want to deal with any kind of ex stuff, and she promised me there wouldn’t be any and kissed me.

The best way to deal with a girl: no response. Let her think I’m off having fun without her or at least have her start wondering what I’m doing and worrying she might screw up something. If I’m calling her, it’s like preliminarily signaling I'm the kind of guy that would be in her back pocket. Sorry, you're not gonna hear from me if you're going to blow me off (kinda, i know I'm just assuming this that's why I'm not saying anything whatsoever...let her think whatever she wants).

In the meantime? Eh, oh well. I’m gonna call this other girl tonight. She’s already called me once and I didn’t answer. I was really liking this girl too, but wasn’t gonna call her back because of how well things went with girl 1. But if girl 1's off still sorting things out, I might as well. You know?

thats correct