Quote:
Originally Posted by 8nalive
I agree Boyd may have made some mistakes. We all do. But I can forgive his faults as a human being because I am only human also. I hope others may forgive me for the wrongs that I have caused them. No doubt, Boyd was a huge reason why so many people loved this band. Sometimes they went to concerts just to see him To call me wildly biased and wildly unrealistic is not a very nice thing for you to say directly to me. It's ok, I can take it. Where I come from, we go out of our way to be kind to others. And often times we are not kind, though. But we try. I guess I feel a lack of respect and decency on these board mostly for band members who are giving it their all. you Da Man Boyd
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So I have a sincere question for you, and I ask it in same respectful manner your reply to me just now is in:
Do you not see the hypocrisy in you calling everyone else haters and assuming that everyone talking about Boyd's behaviors and the consequences is "hating" even though many speak out of concern... and you now saying calling you wildly biased and wildly unrealistic is not nice to say directly to you, after you specifically called everyone in this conversation haters and that we'd be judged horribly for it?
In the end, what you just said is really what maybe you should have led with: you understand Boyd's behaviors may have been an issue, and you forgive him for that and think he worked super hard for DMB and you want to see that honored and recognized. No one can argue with you for that opnion.
It's when you call everyone haters when most people literally were just talking about what had happened to him, the many reasons (and if you're realistic you understand there were MANY!) he is no longer in the band.
That's how life goes. It's ok to forgive people or for people to regret their actions, but if you tried for years to address it and someone just got worse and worse and more and more extreme, it is the bad actor's responsibility NOT those who have to cut them off, that things get to that point.
So you can forgive Boyd all you want, but to call everyone badly-intentioned (haters) just for talking about what actually happened as a result of Boyd's bad performances, behavior and choices IS wildly biased and wildly unrealistic, given the years and years of problematic behavior on his part.
I first saw DMB in '94 and '94-'00 will always be a magical musical time for me because of how DMB was live and recorded then. I loved Boyd's energy and presence, and my interactions with him were largely positive. I did notice some things that weren't about me that bothered me... and that was in like '99 and on, so that was a loooong time ago there were concerns.
It is possible to love and respect Boyd's contributions as a key founding member of DMB, have the early days as one's favorite era of DMB, and find him to have been a kind person to me, AND to also recognize he made some very bad choices and his performance declined in the extremes and to see the band as wholly justified in kicking him out and fans totally justified in discussing it.