Parenting Thread - Page 5 - Antsmarching.org Forums - Dave Matthews Band Discussion
Old 06-26-2019, 07:15 AM   #121
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Re: Parenting Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by neumdogg View Post
I am thinking about taking my daughter to a concert this summer and wanted to know if I should get her headphones. It's an outdoor venue and I would be sitting in the lawn area in the back of the venue.

At 3.5 years old, does she even need headphones? If so, is there a kind you guys would recommend?
I would do it just so annoying people don’t comment on it.

Cheap, off amazon that are made for her age
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  • Old 06-26-2019, 07:18 AM   #122
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by neumdogg View Post
    I am thinking about taking my daughter to a concert this summer and wanted to know if I should get her headphones. It's an outdoor venue and I would be sitting in the lawn area in the back of the venue.

    At 3.5 years old, does she even need headphones? If so, is there a kind you guys would recommend?
    Better to have them than not, imo. If you get to your spot and it's not super loud you could always not use them. That's a better option than needing and not having them.
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    Old 06-26-2019, 07:18 AM   #123
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by neumdogg View Post
    I am thinking about taking my daughter to a concert this summer and wanted to know if I should get her headphones. It's an outdoor venue and I would be sitting in the lawn area in the back of the venue.

    At 3.5 years old, does she even need headphones? If so, is there a kind you guys would recommend?
    Outside lawn area probably not. I've taken my youngest at ages 1, 2 & 3 to concerts at NRG Stadium for rodeo shows, and never needed headphones - and that was inside.
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    Old 06-26-2019, 09:33 AM   #124
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by neumdogg View Post
    I am thinking about taking my daughter to a concert this summer and wanted to know if I should get her headphones. It's an outdoor venue and I would be sitting in the lawn area in the back of the venue.

    At 3.5 years old, does she even need headphones? If so, is there a kind you guys would recommend?
    Install an app like DecibelX on your phone and measure the sound for 1 minute when the band is playing at volume, if it's averaging much more than 5-6dB over 85dB, give her the headphones. Peltor or Pelton, forget the name, make good ones for Jrs.
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    Old 06-26-2019, 10:42 AM   #125
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by neumdogg View Post
    I am thinking about taking my daughter to a concert this summer and wanted to know if I should get her headphones. It's an outdoor venue and I would be sitting in the lawn area in the back of the venue.

    At 3.5 years old, does she even need headphones? If so, is there a kind you guys would recommend?
    My son has been going to shows since he was about that age (he is 14 now) and he wears earplugs at every single show.
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    Old 06-26-2019, 10:47 AM   #126
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Climb2safety View Post
    I would do it just so annoying people don’t comment on it.

    Cheap, off amazon that are made for her age
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by swordo84 View Post
    Better to have them than not, imo. If you get to your spot and it's not super loud you could always not use them. That's a better option than needing and not having them.
    This is what I am thinking.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lee3691 View Post
    Outside lawn area probably not. I've taken my youngest at ages 1, 2 & 3 to concerts at NRG Stadium for rodeo shows, and never needed headphones - and that was inside.
    This is what I am not thinking.
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    Old 09-01-2019, 06:14 PM   #127
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    iso some advice

    My 4 year old is awesome. Generally behaves very well, empathizes, he's a really sweet kid and a charmer. He's always behaved better for me than my wife, and all the reading I've done says that this is normal if she's the primary care giver. Lately though, specifically the last few weeks, he's been a fucking asshole. I don't know how else to describe it, as much as it sucks to say it. I've been working my summer job a lot and my school year started then, my wife's school doesn't start til this week so she's been home with him a lot.

    He has experienced a few risk factors, outside of me going back to work. New house in January and a new baby in February. Not sure if those changes are just starting to hit him now, because he otherwise adapted very well at the time. Slept 8 hours in his room every night the first week in the new house, no problems.

    It's just lately he does a ton of little things, all day, that he knows he can't- taking food out of the fridge or off the counter, throwing the babies diapers everywhere, plowing through a just-folded pile of laundry, jumping on the couch when my wife is feeding the baby there, stomping outside the baby's room when she's sleeping. He's also back to peeing the bed about twice a week, doesn't hold it down when he's on the toilet and sprays everywhere...it's like anything he can do to make my wife's life harder, he's doing it. Today I got home from work and threw him in his room for 5 hours. He came down to eat and I put him right back in. I couldn't stand the reports and texts from my wife anymore.

    I know it's likely an attention thing because of the new baby, but does anyone have any advice to make this go a little easier? We still give him a ton of attention- the other day my wife took him apple picking, then out for ice cream, then they get home and he's an a-hole again. We're kind of at our wit's end here.
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    Old 09-01-2019, 07:48 PM   #128
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    iso some advice

    My 4 year old is awesome. Generally behaves very well, empathizes, he's a really sweet kid and a charmer. He's always behaved better for me than my wife, and all the reading I've done says that this is normal if she's the primary care giver. Lately though, specifically the last few weeks, he's been a fucking asshole. I don't know how else to describe it, as much as it sucks to say it. I've been working my summer job a lot and my school year started then, my wife's school doesn't start til this week so she's been home with him a lot.

    He has experienced a few risk factors, outside of me going back to work. New house in January and a new baby in February. Not sure if those changes are just starting to hit him now, because he otherwise adapted very well at the time. Slept 8 hours in his room every night the first week in the new house, no problems.

    It's just lately he does a ton of little things, all day, that he knows he can't- taking food out of the fridge or off the counter, throwing the babies diapers everywhere, plowing through a just-folded pile of laundry, jumping on the couch when my wife is feeding the baby there, stomping outside the baby's room when she's sleeping. He's also back to peeing the bed about twice a week, doesn't hold it down when he's on the toilet and sprays everywhere...it's like anything he can do to make my wife's life harder, he's doing it. Today I got home from work and threw him in his room for 5 hours. He came down to eat and I put him right back in. I couldn't stand the reports and texts from my wife anymore.

    I know it's likely an attention thing because of the new baby, but does anyone have any advice to make this go a little easier? We still give him a ton of attention- the other day my wife took him apple picking, then out for ice cream, then they get home and he's an a-hole again. We're kind of at our wit's end here.
    If you think it is attention driven from the new baby, try to get him involved in helping with the baby. Make him feel responsible.
    He carries the bottle over for feeding, he helps get things ready for naps and diaper changes. Anything to be a helpful big bro.

    For discipline I always thought taking things away worked great. Even if it was a toy they weren’t currently playing with. If they followed up behavior something got put up on the book shelf they weren’t allowed to play with. (You may need help putting something up high away from the kid ). And give warnings about what will happen if something continues and ALWAYS follow thru if the behavior continues, then they learn choices and repercussions.
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    Old 09-02-2019, 05:20 AM   #129
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sbuzzz View Post
    If you think it is attention driven from the new baby, try to get him involved in helping with the baby. Make him feel responsible.
    He carries the bottle over for feeding, he helps get things ready for naps and diaper changes. Anything to be a helpful big bro.

    For discipline I always thought taking things away worked great. Even if it was a toy they weren’t currently playing with. If they followed up behavior something got put up on the book shelf they weren’t allowed to play with. (You may need help putting something up high away from the kid ). And give warnings about what will happen if something continues and ALWAYS follow thru if the behavior continues, then they learn choices and repercussions.
    we've been doing all of this already. He helps with diapers and bottles and bed time.

    he's lost his toys this week, he even lost his blankie for a night. Yesterday he was going to get ice cream with my sister, and we warned him and he lost it.

    Today we have a cookout at a neighbors, their daughter is jacobs friend. He was warned about his behavior and before 7am he already threw the remote across the room and emptied out his sock and underwear drawer, breaking the rail because he was hanging on it. I kinda just want to leave him in his room all day
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    Old 09-02-2019, 09:11 AM   #130
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    First son is 15 months old. I can't tell if he's just easily excitable or is genuinely just hitting things/people. Anyone have this? It honestly seems like he gets excited about something and starts to move his arms/hands and then just makes contact but doesn't mean it. If it is hitting, obviously I want to deter it early on.
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    Old 09-03-2019, 07:20 AM   #131
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    we've been doing all of this already. He helps with diapers and bottles and bed time.

    he's lost his toys this week, he even lost his blankie for a night. Yesterday he was going to get ice cream with my sister, and we warned him and he lost it.

    Today we have a cookout at a neighbors, their daughter is jacobs friend. He was warned about his behavior and before 7am he already threw the remote across the room and emptied out his sock and underwear drawer, breaking the rail because he was hanging on it. I kinda just want to leave him in his room all day
    Have you told him that when he does this junk it makes you not like him?

    Like, pointedly. Hey, when this happens we don't enjoy being around you, and we want to enjoy being around you b/c we love you blah blah blah.

    Seems like you've tried the typical removal of things, not allowing fun/reward activities etc. Maybe a more emotional based appeal is in order.
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    Old 09-03-2019, 07:40 AM   #132
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Smoke, I have a 4 year old as well, and she's a tough cookie. She should be brought in to some foreign policy negotiations because she rarely gives in.
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    Old 09-03-2019, 08:55 AM   #133
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    iso some advice

    My 4 year old is awesome. Generally behaves very well, empathizes, he's a really sweet kid and a charmer. He's always behaved better for me than my wife, and all the reading I've done says that this is normal if she's the primary care giver. Lately though, specifically the last few weeks, he's been a fucking asshole. I don't know how else to describe it, as much as it sucks to say it. I've been working my summer job a lot and my school year started then, my wife's school doesn't start til this week so she's been home with him a lot.

    He has experienced a few risk factors, outside of me going back to work. New house in January and a new baby in February. Not sure if those changes are just starting to hit him now, because he otherwise adapted very well at the time. Slept 8 hours in his room every night the first week in the new house, no problems.

    It's just lately he does a ton of little things, all day, that he knows he can't- taking food out of the fridge or off the counter, throwing the babies diapers everywhere, plowing through a just-folded pile of laundry, jumping on the couch when my wife is feeding the baby there, stomping outside the baby's room when she's sleeping. He's also back to peeing the bed about twice a week, doesn't hold it down when he's on the toilet and sprays everywhere...it's like anything he can do to make my wife's life harder, he's doing it. Today I got home from work and threw him in his room for 5 hours. He came down to eat and I put him right back in. I couldn't stand the reports and texts from my wife anymore.

    I know it's likely an attention thing because of the new baby, but does anyone have any advice to make this go a little easier? We still give him a ton of attention- the other day my wife took him apple picking, then out for ice cream, then they get home and he's an a-hole again. We're kind of at our wit's end here.
    Have you considered putting him up for adoption? Get rid of that little shit and all your focus can be on the new baby.
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    Old 09-03-2019, 04:56 PM   #134
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    these are all valid ideas, thanks
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    Old 09-04-2019, 07:32 AM   #135
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    these are all valid ideas, thanks
    mine was srs.
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    Old 09-17-2019, 06:36 PM   #136
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Anyone have any kids taking meds for ADD/ADHD to help them get through the school day? What drugs worked best, what didnt work? Side effects etc.
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    Old 09-17-2019, 07:32 PM   #137
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dontdrink36 View Post
    Anyone have any kids taking meds for ADD/ADHD to help them get through the school day? What drugs worked best, what didnt work? Side effects etc.
    I taught spec ed and I had several kids taking medications. We would know within 2 mins of HR if a kid didnt take his meds that day.

    In terms of specifics, I can't give you an honest answer, and nobody in here can give you anything but anecdotes unless they are a psychiatrist or pharmacist.

    Do you research, listen to your Dr's and respectfully get a 2nd opinion if you feel like you should (though this could take months to years, it's not like diagnosing an ACL tear).

    Most drugs take time to work, so you can't give up on them right away. Most kids will go through an adjustment period while on them. Sluggishness, a change of personality. If it lasts more than a few weeks you might need an adjustment. Whatever you do, the child should take the meds consistently. Not taking them on Tuesday because he was sluggish Monday, then taking Wednesday only makes everything worse.

    Just do your research and due diligence. I've sat in many IEP meetings at school, and ISPT meetings as a mobile therapist. My advice I give parents is this: nobody wants to medicate your children, unless they need it. The need for medicine is likely due to a chemical imbalance. It's no different than the way your body processes insulin- if your child was diagnosed with diabetes, would you not want to give them medicine? This isn't different, despite the stigma. It may take a year to find the right med and dosage, but do what you have to do to help your child.
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    Old 09-17-2019, 07:36 PM   #138
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    right now I feel like we're in this really shitty cycle that I'm sure most parents have gone through

    Wake up
    Rush to get ready and get kids ready
    Shlep kids to daycare
    Work all day
    Pick up kids from day care
    Get home
    Immediately start dinner, clean up from previous night
    Eat. Fight with toddler to eat. Feed baby
    Try to play with toddler for 10 minutes
    Start clean up
    Get interrupted 8 times
    Start bedtime routine for toddler (argue, fight, cry, argue)
    Toddler and baby are finally down
    Walk dog
    Do dishes
    Make lunch for tomorrow
    Pass out


    maybe say 15 words to my wife in that time. Weekends are even crazier. like 6 loads of laundry, cleaning up, ironing clothes for the week, meal prep. Sunday we finally finished all the laundry and most was put away. My toddler wakes up from his nap and he wet the bed. I strip the sheets and start that. Wife comes home and baby had a blowout and the carseat was full of shit, so we ended up doing 2 extra loads of laundry.

    Does this ever end?
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    Old 09-17-2019, 07:40 PM   #139
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    right now I feel like we're in this really shitty cycle that I'm sure most parents have gone through

    Wake up
    Rush to get ready and get kids ready
    Shlep kids to daycare
    Work all day
    Pick up kids from day care
    Get home
    Immediately start dinner, clean up from previous night
    Eat. Fight with toddler to eat. Feed baby
    Try to play with toddler for 10 minutes
    Start clean up
    Get interrupted 8 times
    Start bedtime routine for toddler (argue, fight, cry, argue)
    Toddler and baby are finally down
    Walk dog
    Do dishes
    Make lunch for tomorrow
    Pass out


    maybe say 15 words to my wife in that time. Weekends are even crazier. like 6 loads of laundry, cleaning up, ironing clothes for the week, meal prep. Sunday we finally finished all the laundry and most was put away. My toddler wakes up from his nap and he wet the bed. I strip the sheets and start that. Wife comes home and baby had a blowout and the carseat was full of shit, so we ended up doing 2 extra loads of laundry.

    Does this ever end?
    Sounds about right.
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    Old 09-17-2019, 07:43 PM   #140
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    I taught spec ed and I had several kids taking medications. We would know within 2 mins of HR if a kid didnt take his meds that day.

    In terms of specifics, I can't give you an honest answer, and nobody in here can give you anything but anecdotes unless they are a psychiatrist or pharmacist.

    Do you research, listen to your Dr's and respectfully get a 2nd opinion if you feel like you should (though this could take months to years, it's not like diagnosing an ACL tear).

    Most drugs take time to work, so you can't give up on them right away. Most kids will go through an adjustment period while on them. Sluggishness, a change of personality. If it lasts more than a few weeks you might need an adjustment. Whatever you do, the child should take the meds consistently. Not taking them on Tuesday because he was sluggish Monday, then taking Wednesday only makes everything worse.

    Just do your research and due diligence. I've sat in many IEP meetings at school, and ISPT meetings as a mobile therapist. My advice I give parents is this: nobody wants to medicate your children, unless they need it. The need for medicine is likely due to a chemical imbalance. It's no different than the way your body processes insulin- if your child was diagnosed with diabetes, would you not want to give them medicine? This isn't different, despite the stigma. It may take a year to find the right med and dosage, but do what you have to do to help your child.
    Thanks, I teach SPED too. So I'm not totally blind to it, you can def tell when the kids are on/off their meds. I've been researching trying to figure it out because my son, first grader, keeps having increasingly terrible and violent behavior at school that doesn't manifest that way elsewhere. He isnt violent at home though he does frequently have obedience issues or spats with his sister.

    At school if a kid doesn't play the way he wants them to he hits them or scratches them. When confronted and asked to apologize he says "he hates them" and often runs away from admin. Today was so bad they actually called the school police to help wrangle him although they got him without needing the cop.

    He was given OSS for the first time this year, he also had it last year for similar issues. He is on a 504 have countless accommodations that dont seem to be helping. We are looking at meds now to help buy us some time to nail down the root issues and change the behavior. Its fucking exhausting
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    Old 09-17-2019, 08:49 PM   #141
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    right now I feel like we're in this really shitty cycle that I'm sure most parents have gone through

    Wake up
    Rush to get ready and get kids ready
    Shlep kids to daycare
    Work all day
    Pick up kids from day care
    Get home
    Immediately start dinner, clean up from previous night
    Eat. Fight with toddler to eat. Feed baby
    Try to play with toddler for 10 minutes
    Start clean up
    Get interrupted 8 times
    Start bedtime routine for toddler (argue, fight, cry, argue)
    Toddler and baby are finally down
    Walk dog
    Do dishes
    Make lunch for tomorrow
    Pass out


    maybe say 15 words to my wife in that time. Weekends are even crazier. like 6 loads of laundry, cleaning up, ironing clothes for the week, meal prep. Sunday we finally finished all the laundry and most was put away. My toddler wakes up from his nap and he wet the bed. I strip the sheets and start that. Wife comes home and baby had a blowout and the carseat was full of shit, so we ended up doing 2 extra loads of laundry.

    Does this ever end?
    Didn’t I want you about that second kid? If not, I meant to.

    It gets better.




    And then your marriage ends.
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    Old 09-18-2019, 03:22 AM   #142
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    the 2nd kid really is life changing because of the way you have to split up household chores and playtime with the first kid. it's ridiculous

    its a shitty realization when you conclude that most of your day is work and chores, and you only get a small amount of time to play with your kids, and during that time you're exhausted and can only think about work and chores
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    Old 09-18-2019, 03:47 AM   #143
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    the 2nd kid really is life changing because of the way you have to split up household chores and playtime with the first kid. it's ridiculous

    its a shitty realization when you conclude that most of your day is work and chores, and you only get a small amount of time to play with your kids, and during that time you're exhausted and can only think about work and chores

    There already due to getting a puppy. The guilt trips this little golden retriever is able to give are pretty strong. We both feel bad when we are playing with the baby and he is on the other side of the gate looking sad.



    Add in cooking and cleaning, and we get maybe 1 to 2 hours total per day where we can manage some small amount of "personal" time when that used to be almost unlimited. But in order to get that even, you have to give up sleep. Its at that 8-9pm range when you can finally slightly relax. Up by 5am minimum bc baby is up.



    5 to 6 hours a night if you want even a small amount of time to yourself during the day.
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    Last edited by Tiduwho; 09-18-2019 at 03:48 AM.
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    Old 09-18-2019, 06:06 AM   #144
    but1well
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    there's a lot of optimism and positivity on this page
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BrahmaBull View Post
    This is literally the opposite of communism. Now, if they came out and cancelled all seats and said you are all to sit on the lawn, as peasant equals, you'd have an argument.
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    Old 09-18-2019, 06:26 AM   #145
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by smokew11 View Post
    right now I feel like we're in this really shitty cycle that I'm sure most parents have gone through

    Wake up
    Rush to get ready and get kids ready
    Shlep kids to daycare
    Work all day
    Pick up kids from day care
    Get home
    Immediately start dinner, clean up from previous night
    Eat. Fight with toddler to eat. Feed baby
    Try to play with toddler for 10 minutes
    Start clean up
    Get interrupted 8 times
    Start bedtime routine for toddler (argue, fight, cry, argue)
    Toddler and baby are finally down
    Walk dog
    Do dishes
    Make lunch for tomorrow
    Pass out


    maybe say 15 words to my wife in that time. Weekends are even crazier. like 6 loads of laundry, cleaning up, ironing clothes for the week, meal prep. Sunday we finally finished all the laundry and most was put away. My toddler wakes up from his nap and he wet the bed. I strip the sheets and start that. Wife comes home and baby had a blowout and the carseat was full of shit, so we ended up doing 2 extra loads of laundry.

    Does this ever end?
    Yep, this is the life. The worst is when you really need to talk to your wife about something important and your choice are to yell it over the chaos or just wait until 8:30pm. Insanity.
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    Old 09-18-2019, 06:48 AM   #146
    Tiduwho
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Dealing with our first ear infection. Had to pick him up from daycare at noon yesterday, currently at home with him today. Lot of 101-102 fever range.Glad I have a work laptop, and my parents live 20 mins away so I can drop him off for a couple hours while I have meetings middle of the day.

    Better this morning, but last night he was inconsolable from 8pm-11pm. Rough when he just keeps screaming and crying and won't even open his eyes to look at you. He's on amoxicillin, and then we are alternating between Tylenol and Motrin. His fever is down a lot today and his mood is way better, appetite is returning as well. Phew. I was pretty worried about having to manage alone with him today after he was a handful for both of us last night.
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    Old 09-18-2019, 07:49 AM   #147
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Tiduwho View Post
    Dealing with our first ear infection. Had to pick him up from daycare at noon yesterday, currently at home with him today. Lot of 101-102 fever range.Glad I have a work laptop, and my parents live 20 mins away so I can drop him off for a couple hours while I have meetings middle of the day.

    Better this morning, but last night he was inconsolable from 8pm-11pm. Rough when he just keeps screaming and crying and won't even open his eyes to look at you. He's on amoxicillin, and then we are alternating between Tylenol and Motrin. His fever is down a lot today and his mood is way better, appetite is returning as well. Phew. I was pretty worried about having to manage alone with him today after he was a handful for both of us last night.
    The amoxicillin should kick that infections ass pretty quickly. Hope he's well.
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    Old 09-18-2019, 07:56 AM   #148
    sheldonlevene
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sbuzzz View Post
    Didn’t I want you about that second kid? If not, I meant to.

    It gets better.




    And then your marriage ends.


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    our sexual interactions are incredibly clean-almost in a clinical sense. No emotion, minimal ejaculate, always just me
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    Old 09-18-2019, 08:27 AM   #149
    space_raven
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sbuzzz View Post
    Didn’t I want you about that second kid? If not, I meant to.

    It gets better.




    And then your marriage ends.
    This comes after #3.
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    Originally Posted by dmb9howell View Post
    No that's my bad. I am completely fucking murdered hammered. I can barley see the screen. I go eat now.
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    Old 10-19-2019, 03:27 PM   #150
    Roose13
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    Re: Parenting Thread

    In true white parent fall tradition fashion, we took pictures of our son inside a pumpkin. I'm ashamed and proud at the same time.
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