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Old 08-19-2009, 08:03 PM   #91
mr. testaverde
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Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

this guy in my fraternity was kind of a weird dude. his senior year (after i had graduated), he was constantly in his apartment bedroom with the door closed. his roommate told me he walked into their shared bedroom a few times and this guy is at his desk whacking away and he would try to cover it up and pretend he was doing other things.

and then recently he got arrested for possession of child porn. we can only wonder what he was jacking off to...
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  • Old 08-19-2009, 08:10 PM   #92
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mr. testaverde View Post
    this guy in my fraternity was kind of a weird dude. his senior year (after i had graduated), he was constantly in his apartment bedroom with the door closed. his roommate told me he walked into their shared bedroom a few times and this guy is at his desk whacking away and he would try to cover it up and pretend he was doing other things.

    and then recently he got arrested for possession of child porn. we can only wonder what he was jacking off to...
    My eleven year old sister's best friend's dad got arrested for child porn
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    Old 08-19-2009, 09:03 PM   #93
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mr. testaverde View Post
    we can only wonder what he was jacking off to...
    kiddie porn??
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    Old 08-19-2009, 09:08 PM   #94
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jkrue22 View Post
    kiddie porn??
    Think it was rhetorical. But yes, I would agree with your assessment.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 09:35 PM   #95
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by atrippingbillie View Post
    My eleven year old sister's best friend's dad got arrested for child porn
    Yikes, not cool, especially since your sister is eleven...
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    Old 08-19-2009, 09:38 PM   #96
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Azwethinkweist View Post
    This all reminds me of the great Stephen Lynch song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1QAsPLNDVc
    Seriously, you need to watch this vid, it's 100% what we're talking about.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 09:38 PM   #97
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mcwyffe View Post
    what the fuck do you know?
    and what the hell do you know?

    if i'm wrong tell me straight up. don't try shit on me and not clean it up.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 09:45 PM   #98
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by PhishSticks40 View Post
    Never been caught.

    On a sidenote though, does anyone ever feel the slightest bit weird when you are cranking your meat and the cat is sitting on the couch across the room watching you?
    yes!!!

    I literally just laughed out loud pretty damn hard, cause this is so true.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 09:53 PM   #99
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Once I was rubbing one out with music blasting and the door locked when my mother knocked on the door. I'd never lost a hard-on more quickly in my entire life. I just pretended I couldn't hear her over the music.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 09:56 PM   #100
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by The Mango View Post
    and what the hell do you know?

    if i'm wrong tell me straight up. don't try shit on me and not clean it up.
    chill man, i havent had a serious post in days.

    edit: 4 srs, if it isnt the same density as human tissue or bone, wouldnt it show up?
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    Old 08-19-2009, 10:36 PM   #101
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Yeah this thread was done not long ago. Because I know a certain someone's story who was caught and the punchline is his dad walking in and saying something like as if to say "you would!" But I'll let him tell it...

    I was never really caught jerking it per se, but I'll admit getting caught with my junk out. It was freshman year, tiny dorm room. It was just that time in the morning when you're waking up with some really good morning wood. I was still in bed and just rubbing and stuff, not really planning on an all-out session, just bc it was early and felt good. Looked over and noticed my roommate had like rolled over and looked at me like "wtf" so I put it away and went on with my day.

    But I did catch him not longer after that. He came in late and thought I was asleep but I was just getting there. After settling in I realized I heard this shuffling under the cover sound. It was fast and kinda sporadic, like no way I've ever jerked it before. But I knew what it was and it was real awkward, so after a while I broke the darkness with "havin fun over there???" and the room went completely silent. I think I kinda laughed and rolled over and went to sleep.

    He also came out of the closet after freshman year so hopefully my getting caught the week or so earlier wasn't his focus that night.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 11:03 PM   #102
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    I knew a guy I worked with that caught two girls going at it in a high school bathroom. Goth like girl going down on a cheerleader, but I guess that's for the 'things you've seen that could be in porn' thread.
    I dont know if this was a thread around here or you were just being hypothetical, but I wanted to see that thread, so I searched it (didnt find it) but found the forum message at the top of the results page hilarious

    Quote:
    Search: Keyword(s): porn ; Forum: HaikuC and child forums
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    Old 08-20-2009, 12:23 AM   #103
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Just yesterday one of my roommates was out grilling something on our back porch at nighttime. He looked over to our next door neighbors house and said he saw something moving up and down real fast. Then he thought it was a dog or something, then it stopped and he saw a hand gripping a dick. The next door neighbor didn't shut his blinds and was going to town for like 20 minutes. I could not stop laughing one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Still laughing today from that situation yesterday.
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    Old 08-20-2009, 10:09 AM   #104
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GSUdawg521 View Post
    I dont know if this was a thread around here or you were just being hypothetical, but I wanted to see that thread, so I searched it (didnt find it) but found the forum message at the top of the results page hilarious
    that's funny.
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    Old 08-20-2009, 11:35 AM   #105
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Not exactly caught... but I was still embarrassed.

    I left my toy on the nightstand next to my bed from the night before when I left for work - which usually is not a big deal since I live alone. I met one of my casual friends for drinks after work and she asked if she could come over and see my place since she hadn't been there before. I didn't think anything of it, and gave her a tour of my place. We walked into my room and I started to throw out the cribs line "this is where the magic..." and totally saw my vibrator still sitting out and stopped. She definitely saw it, but didn't say anything which made me feel even more awkward. I guess this doesn't sound so bad compared to the other stories on here... but I was pretty embarrassed at the time.
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    Old 08-20-2009, 11:41 AM   #106
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    I hope this won't be awkard, but I can see deleted posts
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    Old 08-20-2009, 11:43 AM   #107
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    I hope this won't be awkard, but I can see deleted posts
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    Old 08-20-2009, 11:46 AM   #108
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    I hope this won't be awkard, but I can see deleted posts
    i wonder...
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    Old 08-20-2009, 11:49 AM   #109
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ashley J View Post
    Not exactly caught... but I was still embarrassed.

    I left my toy on the nightstand next to my bed from the night before when I left for work - which usually is not a big deal since I live alone. I met one of my casual friends for drinks after work and she asked if she could come over and see my place since she hadn't been there before. I didn't think anything of it, and gave her a tour of my place. We walked into my room and I started to throw out the cribs line "this is where the magic..." and totally saw my vibrator still sitting out and stopped. She definitely saw it, but didn't say anything which made me feel even more awkward. I guess this doesn't sound so bad compared to the other stories on here... but I was pretty embarrassed at the time.
    ouch
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    Old 08-20-2009, 11:50 AM   #110
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    I hope this won't be awkard, but I can see deleted posts
    Don't lie.
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    Old 08-20-2009, 12:22 PM   #111
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    I hope this won't be awkard, but I can see deleted posts
    Fair game as long as there are no names
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    Old 08-20-2009, 12:32 PM   #112
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    I have fallen into a trap.
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    Old 08-20-2009, 01:09 PM   #113
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ashley J View Post
    Not exactly caught... but I was still embarrassed.

    I left my toy on the nightstand next to my bed from the night before when I left for work - which usually is not a big deal since I live alone. I met one of my casual friends for drinks after work and she asked if she could come over and see my place since she hadn't been there before. I didn't think anything of it, and gave her a tour of my place. We walked into my room and I started to throw out the cribs line "this is where the magic..." and totally saw my vibrator still sitting out and stopped. She definitely saw it, but didn't say anything which made me feel even more awkward. I guess this doesn't sound so bad compared to the other stories on here... but I was pretty embarrassed at the time.
    I once crawled into a girls bed that I was seeing at one point and felt something under the blankets. I thought it might of been the remote to her tv...I was wrong. She kinda had a mini freak out when I told her what I had found.
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    Old 08-20-2009, 01:14 PM   #114
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by guitarplayer554 View Post
    I once crawled into a girls bed that I was seeing at one point and felt something under the blankets. I thought it might of been the remote to her tv...I was wrong. She kinda had a mini freak out when I told her what I had found.
    I think the mini freak out was due to the fact that you were in her bed.
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    I thought he was a good looking guy
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    Old 08-20-2009, 01:14 PM   #115
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Azwethinkweist View Post
    This all reminds me of the great Stephen Lynch song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1QAsPLNDVc
    Why has nobody watched this yet?
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    Old 08-20-2009, 01:40 PM   #116
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Azwethinkweist View Post
    Why has nobody watched this yet?
    Stephen Lynch is fucking hilarious good link fits perfectly

    I love Priest:
    "so I close my eyes but there he lies
    spread eagle on the pew
    and when I see him in that frock
    my conscious goes awry
    I'll give him some communion wine
    that's spiked with spanish flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
    alter boy, oh alter boy
    confess your sins to me
    you will find the grace of god
    inside my rect-----------------ory...."
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    Old 08-20-2009, 02:08 PM   #117
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GSUdawg521 View Post
    Yeah this thread was done not long ago. Because I know a certain someone's story who was caught and the punchline is his dad walking in and saying something like as if to say "you would!" But I'll let him tell it...

    I was never really caught jerking it per se, but I'll admit getting caught with my junk out. It was freshman year, tiny dorm room. It was just that time in the morning when you're waking up with some really good morning wood. I was still in bed and just rubbing and stuff, not really planning on an all-out session, just bc it was early and felt good. Looked over and noticed my roommate had like rolled over and looked at me like "wtf" so I put it away and went on with my day.

    But I did catch him not longer after that. He came in late and thought I was asleep but I was just getting there. After settling in I realized I heard this shuffling under the cover sound. It was fast and kinda sporadic, like no way I've ever jerked it before. But I knew what it was and it was real awkward, so after a while I broke the darkness with "havin fun over there???" and the room went completely silent. I think I kinda laughed and rolled over and went to sleep.

    He also came out of the closet after freshman year so hopefully my getting caught the week or so earlier wasn't his focus that night.
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    Old 08-20-2009, 02:20 PM   #118
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by OlivePoet View Post
    I think the mini freak out was due to the fact that you were in her bed.
    Good one Heater! OMG IDK WAT idz do wit out that funniz jokz!
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    Old 08-20-2009, 04:15 PM   #119
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    No but ive walked in on others
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    Old 08-20-2009, 09:21 PM   #120
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by comerelaxnow View Post
    No but ive walked in on others
    give us the storiez man.
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