Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating? - Antsmarching.org Forums

Go Back   Antsmarching.org Forums > General Discussion > nDMBc Discussion


Want to hide all ads on Ants? Click here
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-19-2009, 02:25 AM   #1
The Mango
Men are Scared of Me
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 973

Shows Seen: 0
Send a message via AIM to The Mango

Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

i never have, but i've heard a lot of funny stories about other people who have.

any of you men or women have stories?
The Mango is offline   Reply With Quote

  • Want to hide all ads on Ants? Click here
  • Old 08-19-2009, 02:28 AM   #2
    sean52692
     
    sean52692's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2008
    Location: Illinoyed
    Posts: 60,439

    Shows Seen: 0

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Nope. Lol. Thank the lord. Cant wait to hear responses.

    Thread could use a poll
    __________________
    Currently listening to:
    7/2/04, Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga Springs, NY
    sean52692 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 02:52 AM   #3
    Aussiemetfan
    Gold Paint Huffer
     
    Aussiemetfan's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2006
    Location: Sydney
    Posts: 4,941

    Shows Seen: 49
    Send a message via AIM to Aussiemetfan Send a message via MSN to Aussiemetfan

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    cant wait to read the funny shit that is gonna be here tomorrow,
    for the record, me, i dont think so, but i might have, ive done the nasty alot, eh eh eh
    __________________
    'im in a tree house on the otherside of the world, getting drunk with 8 people i met on the net'. sums it up really
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TwoStepJeff View Post
    what? do you mean waking up spooning, crown and dr pepper on the drive to the show, the Bears Lair where I failed at life and dropped the c-word, almost getting kicked out with a rum and coke in hand or telling some chick to shut the fuck up?

    yeah pretty good day
    Aussiemetfan is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 03:04 AM   #4
    Bostonsux013
    VICTORY!
     
    Bostonsux013's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2009
    Location: Utica
    Posts: 3,147

    Shows Seen: 33

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    My friend walked in on my other friend fucking a carpet...sort of. Well he was masturbating laying down practically humping the carpet later admitting he liked the texture of it. Idk...

    But for a similar funny story watch this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59oQg-xjy4M
    Bostonsux013 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 04:31 AM   #5
    BotheLaneFan
    I am the FBI
     
    BotheLaneFan's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2005
    Location: Las Vegas, NV
    Posts: 118,585

    Shows Seen: 16

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Fuck no, I'm a pro.

    I hear something even REMOTELY close to someone near my door, suspend action, perhaps even abort.
    __________________
    This is the water, and this is the well.
    Drink full and descend.
    The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by beautifulbuzz18 View Post
    I got it from DT. You too stupid/angry and have to bash the site with dildo up top, then fuck off.
    BotheLaneFan is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 05:24 AM   #6
    Shotgun27
     
    Join Date: Aug 2007
    Posts: 327

    Shows Seen: 1

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    ^do you masturbate to Jay Cutler?
    Shotgun27 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 05:40 AM   #7
    BotheLaneFan
    I am the FBI
     
    BotheLaneFan's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2005
    Location: Las Vegas, NV
    Posts: 118,585

    Shows Seen: 16

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Shotgun27 View Post
    ^do you masturbate to Jay Cutler?
    When I'm lacking inspiration, it's either jerk it to Cutler or your mother.
    __________________
    This is the water, and this is the well.
    Drink full and descend.
    The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by beautifulbuzz18 View Post
    I got it from DT. You too stupid/angry and have to bash the site with dildo up top, then fuck off.
    BotheLaneFan is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 06:22 AM   #8
    Tiduwho
    heh heh heh
     
    Tiduwho's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2006
    Posts: 60,595

    Shows Seen: 0
    Send a message via MSN to Tiduwho

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    We need that story from that other thread about the guy who's roommate was jacking it to a pic of the guy's gf on Day 1, got him removed from the room after talking with the RA, and then ran into him at a different school in some class 10 years later.
    __________________

    "And later I talk to former Presidential candidate Gary Hart and tell him how more Democrats should follow his example -- and leave politics."

    - Stephen Colbert
    Tiduwho is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 06:33 AM   #9
    DavefaninNZ
     
    DavefaninNZ's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Apr 2006
    Location: Colorado
    Posts: 4,777

    Shows Seen: 0

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    ^ I forgot about that one.
    __________________
    Andrew
    DavefaninNZ is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 07:14 AM   #10
    wampa3
    Dancin' w/ Lord Stanley
     
    wampa3's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2004
    Location: Castle Rock, CO
    Posts: 5,067

    Shows Seen: 23
    Send a message via AIM to wampa3

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Never been caught, but one too many close calls. My mom had a wonderful habit of not knocking before walking into my room when the door was closed. My main tactic to get around this was to jerk with shorts on, have one ear listening to headphones and the other to the door. When emergency ensues, it was usually pull shorts shorts back over my junk, cross legs, close browser.
    __________________
    ~Stephen 7.21.02, 9.11.03, 12.12.03, 7.10.04, 10.1.04, 6.25.05, 7.1.06, 7.2.06, 6.10.08, 6.27.08, 6.19.09, 6.26.10, 7.10.10, 6.3.12, 7.6.12, 7.7.12, 7.13.12, 7.14.12, 6.28.13, 6.29.13, 6.27.14, 6.28.14, 6.6.15


    wampa3 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 07:48 AM   #11
    Carbon Copy
    Can you still have fun?
     
    Carbon Copy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Posts: 22,934

    Shows Seen: 12

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Yes.
    Carbon Copy is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 07:59 AM   #12
    junior94
    not a unique snowflake
     
    junior94's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2005
    Location: City Of Angels/City Of Brotherly Love
    Posts: 33,035

    Shows Seen: 2
    Send a message via AIM to junior94 Send a message via Yahoo to junior94

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    I'm almost positive this exact thing's been done before, but hell that's probably true for about a third of the threads around here.

    Funny thing is I was just thinking a couple days ago that I wondered if we'd have another month long masturbation contest, wasn't it about a year ago that was first done?
    __________________
    Kevin

    "Ohh, why do my actions have consequences?!?!" - Homer J. Simpson
    junior94 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 08:40 AM   #13
    AJF_41
     
    AJF_41's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 63,979

    Shows Seen: 26

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Carbon Copy View Post
    Yes.
    Sounds about right...

    on purpose?
    __________________
    the feeling returns, whenever we close our eyes...

    growing vinyl collection: https://www.discogs.com/user/AJF_41/collection/covers
    AJF_41 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 09:31 AM   #14
    Carbon Copy
    Can you still have fun?
     
    Carbon Copy's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Posts: 22,934

    Shows Seen: 12

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AJF_41 View Post
    Sounds about right...

    on purpose?
    wuz tehking n00dz
    Carbon Copy is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 09:35 AM   #15
    crashintome202
     
    crashintome202's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Location: CT
    Posts: 15,170

    Shows Seen: 9

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Tiduwho View Post
    We need that story from that other thread about the guy who's roommate was jacking it to a pic of the guy's gf on Day 1, got him removed from the room after talking with the RA, and then ran into him at a different school in some class 10 years later.
    great thread. we could also use a spinoff- have you ever caught someone masturbating?
    __________________
    Quote:
    At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost
    crashintome202 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 09:36 AM   #16
    Beefsteak1138
    IeatMilo4bfast
     
    Beefsteak1138's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2003
    Posts: 80,527

    Shows Seen: 10

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Your mom caught me once. It was cool though, because she ended up finishing the job for me.
    Beefsteak1138 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 10:46 AM   #17
    Jake
    antsmarching.org Staff
    Setlist Archiver
     
    Jake's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2002
    Location: Sunny F-L-A
    Posts: 59,145

    Shows Seen: 61

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Choking the chicken
    do it stealth mode only. Or,
    caught by your mama
    Jake is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 10:54 AM   #18
    pats4life2003
    Big Gulps Huh?
     
    Join Date: Mar 2007
    Location: Central VA
    Posts: 10,544

    Shows Seen: 11

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    this will be great

    I must say..I never have
    pats4life2003 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:11 AM   #19
    dotpsd
     
    dotpsd's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2007
    Location: New York, NY
    Posts: 1,537

    Shows Seen: 32

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    I come home to find my my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!

    I was caught, well kind of caught once. My gf was living away and we were masturbating with each other on webcam and at the time I shared the attic with my younger brother and my brother's gf walked in but I had just put my dick away, it was the closest call ever.
    dotpsd is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:15 AM   #20
    crashintome202
     
    crashintome202's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2005
    Location: CT
    Posts: 15,170

    Shows Seen: 9

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dotpsd View Post
    I come home to find my my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!

    I was caught, well kind of caught once. My gf was living away and we were masturbating with each other on webcam and at the time I shared the attic with my younger brother and my brother's gf walked in but I had just put my dick away, it was the closest call ever.
    i can't stop laughing
    __________________
    Quote:
    At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost
    crashintome202 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:28 AM   #21
    lotas
    would u not like 2 be?
     
    lotas's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2008
    Location: Indiana
    Posts: 4,879

    Shows Seen: 11

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    when I was a kid, probably 10-12, I figured out that if you put your dick up to the warm heater jet in the pool it would feel really good. So my Aunt came to check on me after a few minutes of silence in the pool.....You can figure out the rest

    let's just say I'll never be able to look at my aunt the same way
    __________________
    "For long you live, and high you fly. Smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry. All you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be."
    lotas is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:29 AM   #22
    Tomriddle
    Ga Ga Ooh La La
     
    Tomriddle's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2004
    Location: New Orleans
    Posts: 41,655

    Shows Seen: 0
    Send a message via AIM to Tomriddle

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by The Mango View Post
    i never have, but i've heard a lot of funny stories about other people who have.

    any of you men or women have stories?
    Let's be honest. This is the key part of the post.
    Tomriddle is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:38 AM   #23
    NextMovement41
    BBQ BEER FREEDOM
     
    NextMovement41's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2008
    Posts: 18,396

    Shows Seen: 5

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Never. Thank God.
    __________________
    Boy, Man, God, Shit
    NextMovement41 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:48 AM   #24
    hbktonyb
    5-Time SetlistGameChamp
     
    hbktonyb's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2004
    Location: Brooklyn
    Posts: 38,992

    Shows Seen: 96

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    My mother caught me. I was alone. I stopped by the house to drop the car off, and I went inside for a few minutes.. Nobody was there - they're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine, I started leafing through it. So, one thing lead to another. Then she walks in. First she screams, "What are you doing?! My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint - she started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it. I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
    I wanted to catch her, but I couldn't run over there the way I was! So, she fell, and then she started screaming, "My back! My back!" So, I picked her up and took her to the hospital. She's in traction. Its not funny either. Her back went out. She's gotta be there for a couple of days. All she said on the way over in the car was, "Why, Anthony, why?!".. I said, "Because it's there!"

    Well, I'll tell you this, though - I am never doing.. that , again.
    __________________
    Best!@!


    GORGE 08
    hbktonyb is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:48 AM   #25
    HolyCow
    Cubs Win!
     
    HolyCow's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2005
    Location: Norman, Oklahoma
    Posts: 22,833

    Shows Seen: 11

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    I caught my best friend our freshman year of college. Hilarious, yet awkward.

    The best part was that when I caught him, like two minutes later a pool scene came on in the movie he was watching (Streakers on Comedy Central). So he saw the movie was on, thought, "Hey, that scene is coming up... I'll jerk it" and then was waiting for it. But I busted in the door before he had a chance.
    __________________
    R
    HolyCow is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:49 AM   #26
    HolyCow
    Cubs Win!
     
    HolyCow's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Feb 2005
    Location: Norman, Oklahoma
    Posts: 22,833

    Shows Seen: 11

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hbktonyb View Post
    My mother caught me. I was alone. I stopped by the house to drop the car off, and I went inside for a few minutes.. Nobody was there - they're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine, I started leafing through it. So, one thing lead to another. Then she walks in. First she screams, "What are you doing?! My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint - she started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it. I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
    I wanted to catch her, but I couldn't run over there the way I was! So, she fell, and then she started screaming, "My back! My back!" So, I picked her up and took her to the hospital. She's in traction. Its not funny either. Her back went out. She's gotta be there for a couple of days. All she said on the way over in the car was, "Why, Anthony, why?!".. I said, "Because it's there!"

    Well, I'll tell you this, though - I am never doing.. that , again.
    __________________
    R
    HolyCow is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 11:58 AM   #27
    YankeesDMB41
    TB12 4 Life
     
    YankeesDMB41's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2009
    Location: NY
    Posts: 13,446

    Shows Seen: 44

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    not yet...but i have time no worries
    __________________
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bigeyedfish8807 View Post
    Do you two do ANYTHING else in life besides jerk each other in your momís basement in between posting on Ants fucking Marching??
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Antiramie View Post
    You're just as terrible a person as Toysoldier is.
    YankeesDMB41 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 12:00 PM   #28
    saygdbye4134
     
    saygdbye4134's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Mar 2005
    Posts: 20,159

    Shows Seen: 33

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by junior94 View Post
    I'm almost positive this exact thing's been done before, but hell that's probably true for about a third of the threads around here.

    Funny thing is I was just thinking a couple days ago that I wondered if we'd have another month long masturbation contest, wasn't it about a year ago that was first done?

    http://www.antsmarching.org/forum/sh...d.php?t=164741
    saygdbye4134 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 12:01 PM   #29
    lotas
    would u not like 2 be?
     
    lotas's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2008
    Location: Indiana
    Posts: 4,879

    Shows Seen: 11

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HolyCow View Post
    I caught my best friend our freshman year of college. Hilarious, yet awkward.

    The best part was that when I caught him, like two minutes later a pool scene came on in the movie he was watching (Streakers on Comedy Central). So he saw the movie was on, thought, "Hey, that scene is coming up... I'll jerk it" and then was waiting for it. But I busted in the door before he had a chance.
    You cockblock!!
    __________________
    "For long you live, and high you fly. Smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry. All you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be."
    lotas is offline   Reply With Quote
    Old 08-19-2009, 12:26 PM   #30
    matt2053
     
    matt2053's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Nov 2002
    Location: Flo-Rida
    Posts: 834

    Shows Seen: 16

    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    When I was a junior in high school one morning before school, after I got out of the shower my dad came into my room and caught me laying buck naked spread eagle on my bed going to town yanking it like there was no tomorrow. He said, "Don't be late for school," and walked out.

    I finished.

    I told my dad I had been inspecting my penis because I thought there was something wrong with it.

    For eight years not a word was spoken of it, but it was always in the back of my mind. So finally, at 25, I didn't like having it on my mind so I sat him down one day and told him that that one time I thought I had something wrong with my penis, I was really just covering up that he had caught me whacking off. He said he didn't remember, but thanks for sharing.
    matt2053 is offline   Reply With Quote
    Reply

    Thread Tools
    Display Modes

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off

    Forum Jump


    Want to hide all ads on Ants? Click here

    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:56 PM.


    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
    Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.


       
    Site LinksAbout AntsAnts MobileTweet Tweet
    Home
    Ants+
    Tour Central
    Search bar
    RSS Feeds
    About Us
    Contact Us
    The Ants Blog
    Advertise on Ants
    Privacy Policy
    Ants on your cell phone
    iAnts
    mobile news
    mobile setlists
    antslive!
    Ants' Twitter
    DMBLive Twitter
    Ants Facebook
    Ants Instagram