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Old 08-19-2009, 12:28 PM   #31
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Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Choking the chicken
do it stealth mode only. Or,
caught by your mama
sig worthy
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  • Old 08-19-2009, 12:28 PM   #32
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by matt2053 View Post
    When I was a junior in high school one morning before school, after I got out of the shower my dad came into my room and caught me laying buck naked spread eagle on my bed going to town yanking it like there was no tomorrow. He said, "Don't be late for school," and walked out.

    I finished.

    I told my dad I had been inspecting my penis because I thought there was something wrong with it.

    For eight years not a word was spoken of it, but it was always in the back of my mind. So finally, at 25, I didn't like having it on my mind so I sat him down one day and told him that that one time I thought I had something wrong with my penis, I was really just covering up that he had caught me whacking off. He said he didn't remember, but thanks for sharing.
    Best part.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 12:47 PM   #33
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by matt2053 View Post
    When I was a junior in high school one morning before school, after I got out of the shower my dad came into my room and caught me laying buck naked spread eagle on my bed going to town yanking it like there was no tomorrow. He said, "Don't be late for school," and walked out.

    I finished.

    I told my dad I had been inspecting my penis because I thought there was something wrong with it.

    For eight years not a word was spoken of it, but it was always in the back of my mind. So finally, at 25, I didn't like having it on my mind so I sat him down one day and told him that that one time I thought I had something wrong with my penis, I was really just covering up that he had caught me whacking off. He said he didn't remember, but thanks for sharing.


    Awesome.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 01:08 PM   #34
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hbktonyb View Post
    My mother caught me. I was alone. I stopped by the house to drop the car off, and I went inside for a few minutes.. Nobody was there - they're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine, I started leafing through it. So, one thing lead to another. Then she walks in. First she screams, "What are you doing?! My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint - she started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it. I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
    I wanted to catch her, but I couldn't run over there the way I was! So, she fell, and then she started screaming, "My back! My back!" So, I picked her up and took her to the hospital. She's in traction. Its not funny either. Her back went out. She's gotta be there for a couple of days. All she said on the way over in the car was, "Why, Anthony, why?!".. I said, "Because it's there!"

    Well, I'll tell you this, though - I am never doing.. that , again.
    care to make it interesting?
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    Old 08-19-2009, 01:09 PM   #35
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    This one time, I was having sex with a pie in my kitchen that my mom baked for me and then my dad walked in. We talked it over and decided that we'd just tell her that we ate it all.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 01:14 PM   #36
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    The grammar fail of the thread title makes me weep for the future.
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    Calm down, 12.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 01:55 PM   #37
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dmbgodagirl41 View Post
    The grammar fail of the thread title makes me weep for the future.
    I don't follow, where did you get caught with a Ken doll up your cavern?
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    Old 08-19-2009, 01:58 PM   #38
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    I don't follow, where did you get caught with a Ken doll up your cavern?
    Have you ever BEEN caught maybe?
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    Old 08-19-2009, 02:00 PM   #39
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Bostonsux013 View Post
    Have you ever BEEN caught maybe?
    your posts suck big stick
    don't understand sarcasm
    just end it now, fail
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    Old 08-19-2009, 02:07 PM   #40
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AJF_41 View Post
    care to make it interesting?
    Well, I know I can hold out longer than you.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 02:07 PM   #41
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AJF_41 View Post
    your posts suck big stick
    don't understand sarcasm
    just end it now, fail
    Hard to interpret sarcasm on the internet, Pontious.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 02:10 PM   #42
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hbktonyb View Post
    Well, I know I can hold out longer than you.
    I shave my legs.




    Not everyday.........
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    Old 08-19-2009, 02:33 PM   #43
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hbktonyb View Post
    My mother caught me. I was alone. I stopped by the house to drop the car off, and I went inside for a few minutes.. Nobody was there - they're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine, I started leafing through it. So, one thing lead to another. Then she walks in. First she screams, "What are you doing?! My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint - she started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it. I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
    I wanted to catch her, but I couldn't run over there the way I was! So, she fell, and then she started screaming, "My back! My back!" So, I picked her up and took her to the hospital. She's in traction. Its not funny either. Her back went out. She's gotta be there for a couple of days. All she said on the way over in the car was, "Why, Anthony, why?!".. I said, "Because it's there!"

    Well, I'll tell you this, though - I am never doing.. that , again.
    this story seems ver closely related to seinfeld.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 02:43 PM   #44
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by The Mango View Post
    this story seems ver closely related to seinfeld.
    Really? Never heard of the show.



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    Old 08-19-2009, 03:11 PM   #45
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hbktonyb View Post
    Really? Never heard of the show.



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    Old 08-19-2009, 03:13 PM   #46
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hbktonyb View Post
    Really? Never heard of the show.



    -Jack Klompus
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    Old 08-19-2009, 03:18 PM   #47
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    the haiku meme fucking sucks







    despite my feelings, I expect a haiku in response to this post. Please include LOL you mad?
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    Old 08-19-2009, 03:25 PM   #48
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dmbigeyedphish View Post
    the haiku meme fucking sucks







    despite my feelings, I expect a haiku in response to this post. Please include LOL you mad?
    Get caught spanking it?
    you, dmbigeyedphish.
    LOL U mad?
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    Old 08-19-2009, 03:27 PM   #49
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    Get caught spanking it?
    you, dmbigeyedphish.
    LOL U mad?

    rofl ya
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    Old 08-19-2009, 03:33 PM   #50
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    Get caught spanking it?
    you, dmbigeyedphish.
    LOL U mad?
    that was quite whitty,
    possibly titilating-
    but moreso factious
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    Old 08-19-2009, 03:39 PM   #51
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Call it what you like
    dmbigeyephish spanks;
    just like a monkey
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    Old 08-19-2009, 03:54 PM   #52
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Yes.
    The priest was not happy.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 04:02 PM   #53
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    my wife's friend caught her husband because she had this shampoo she never used that kept getting more empty. she confronted him, he confessed.


    the moral of the story is to use your own shampoo when workin it in the shower.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 04:07 PM   #54
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    my wife's friend caught her husband because she had this shampoo she never used that kept getting more empty. she confronted him, he confessed.


    the moral of the story is to use your own shampoo when workin it in the shower.
    that's good. i'm surprised she even noticed it emptying.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 04:15 PM   #55
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    I'm on a masterbation memory lane.... must've been the haiku's.


    I remember someone I knew, don't remember who or where, that caught her great-grandmother masterbating on the occasion of her 102nd birthday.

    the family heard moaning and thought she had fallen, went upstairs to investigate and found her on her bed, legs in the air and hands deep inside a crotch that saw action in the Harding admininstration.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 04:19 PM   #56
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    I'm on a masterbation memory lane.... must've been the haiku's.


    I remember someone I knew, don't remember who or where, that caught her great-grandmother masterbating on the occasion of her 102nd birthday.

    the family heard moaning and thought she had fallen, went upstairs to investigate and found her on her bed, legs in the air and hands deep inside a crotch that saw action in the Harding admininstration.
    My penis thanked you for this story before it decided to die.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 04:19 PM   #57
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jake View Post
    I'm on a masterbation memory lane.... must've been the haiku's.


    I remember someone I knew, don't remember who or where, that caught her great-grandmother masterbating on the occasion of her 102nd birthday.

    the family heard moaning and thought she had fallen, went upstairs to investigate and found her on her bed, legs in the air and hands deep inside a crotch that saw action in the Harding admininstration.
    god damn, i don't know how i would feel if i saw that. maybe laughing my ass off while everyone else would be staring in shock.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 04:22 PM   #58
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Sometimes I ask my g/f to pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy and...watch me whack off. I then ask her to tell me to slow down and do it at a medium pace.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 04:22 PM   #59
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    I'm never been caught, but came close once or twice.

    I remember once back in the day I was going at it in front of the computer when nobody was home. Needless to say, just as I was about to jizz, someone pulled into the driveway. At that time, I was at the point of no return, the point where you can't stop it from coming (pun intended). Anyway, luckily the bathroom was right next to the computer room. I quickly exited out of all the porn and quick ran into the bathroom, with cock in my jizz covered hand and began cleaning up the mess.
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    Old 08-19-2009, 04:26 PM   #60
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    Re: Have You Ever Got Caught Masturbating?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rodey View Post
    the point where you can't stop it from coming (pun intended)
    that is hardly a pun
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