Dating is miserable

[justinandimcool]

Silence was finally broken a couple hours ago. Says she has to cancel tonight because her cat killed a possum last night so “she’d like to see me again soon but needs some me time today”.

I guess I was wrong in saying I was ghosted since I’m obviously not being ghosted, but I don’t necessarily feel great about it either. I believe the cat story is legit but the timing of the text feels like code for “yeahhhh I’ve lost interest but I’m gonna let you down easy”

But hey can’t complain! No point in assuming, I guess I’ll continue to check in every couple days. Feels like the chemistry we had in person is kinda zapped but I got nothing else going on right now, might as well play her game lmao

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by justinandimcool

Silence was finally broken a couple hours ago. Says she has to cancel tonight because her cat killed a possum last night so “she’d like to see me again soon but needs some me time today”.

I guess I was wrong in saying I was ghosted since I’m obviously not being ghosted, but I don’t necessarily feel great about it either. I believe the cat story is legit but the timing of the text feels like code for “yeahhhh I’ve lost interest but I’m gonna let you down easy”

But hey can’t complain! No point in assuming, I guess I’ll continue to check in every couple days. Feels like the chemistry we had in person is kinda zapped but I got nothing else going on right now, might as well play her game lmao

Sorry but I don’t think that cat story is an excuse to bail on going out. Like cats kill shit all the time. That’s what cats do. Why would her cat killing something yesterday effect a date tonight?

Ok so I’m not a cat person, but we had this random cat show up to my parents house, and they started feeding her. She became like an outdoor pet. She eats, and kills all types of shit and brings it back to the front door. Maybe if you have an indoor cat, you have to bring them to the vet if they eat kill wild animals. Still, that was yesterday. Like it shouldn’t be a big enough deal to cancel tonight.

Sorry man, that sucks she cancelled.

[justinandimcool]

lol ^ I know right. I don’t buy it for a second, but hey. She could’ve easily just ghosted, or she could’ve not added in “I’d like to see you again soon” so I don’t have room to complain at the end of the day. Just odd timing, and some cognitive dissonance compared to how great dates 1 and 2 + texting have been

[jcc522]

The cat didn’t kill a possum lmao

[justinandimcool]

Yeah, putting myself in her shoes, this is exactly how I’d get out of someone I didn’t wanna see, just make up a story, delay things, and hope they forget about you

pretty brilliant tbh

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by justinandimcool

lol ^ I know right. I don’t buy it for a second, but hey. She could’ve easily just ghosted, or she could’ve not added in “I’d like to see you again soon” so I don’t have room to complain at the end of the day. Just odd timing, and some cognitive dissonance compared to how great dates 1 and 2 + texting have been

Yeah it’s weird man. Part of me thinks she added “would like to see you again” because she actually does. It also could be that she feels bad she isn’t interested anymore, and wanted to add in something nice. Impossible to tell man. Just keep tying until it’s pretty clear.

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by jcc522

The cat didn’t kill a possum lmao

Also this.

She should have at least said rabbet, squirrel or something like that. I feel like a possum would fuck up a cat. Those things are mean AF

[Climb2safety]

Originally Posted by justinandimcool

Silence was finally broken a couple hours ago. Says she has to cancel tonight because her cat killed a possum last night so “she’d like to see me again soon but needs some me time today”.

I guess I was wrong in saying I was ghosted since I’m obviously not being ghosted, but I don’t necessarily feel great about it either. I believe the cat story is legit but the timing of the text feels like code for “yeahhhh I’ve lost interest but I’m gonna let you down easy”

But hey can’t complain! No point in assuming, I guess I’ll continue to check in every couple days. Feels like the chemistry we had in person is kinda zapped but I got nothing else going on right now, might as well play her game lmao

If it were me I’d file it away, stay cool and see where it all goes. If she does something similar again you will be in the look out, if she doesn’t and you start dating you can get to the bottom of what really happened.

[justinandimcool]

To be fair, she said baby possum


All good advice though. Thanks! I’m not new to any of this, I just kinda took the long way around to rejection this time lmao

[Roose13]

A baby possum I could see. A cat ain't taking out an adult.

[GSUdawg521]

When my first girlfriend back in high school broke up with me, part of her reason was related to how she had just backed over her neighbor's dog or something. I forget exactly, it was close to 20 years ago. Like it messed with her and she needed some time. Felt like bullshit. We worked together at a Cold Stone, and she had also just found out that I'd made out with another girl that worked there, prior to us dating, and she mentioned that too. So I think that was a bigger part of it

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by GSUdawg521

When my first girlfriend back in high school broke up with me, part of her reason was related to how she had just backed over her neighbor's dog or something. I forget exactly, it was close to 20 years ago. Like it messed with her and she needed some time. Felt like bullshit. We worked together at a Cold Stone, and she had also just found out that I'd made out with another girl that worked there, prior to us dating, and she mentioned that too. So I think that was a bigger part of it

She probably ran over that other girl's dog.

[DMBstandUP1984]

I broke up with a girl once by telling her I just don’t find her attractive anymore


Wouldn’t recommend it, sometimes the truth is not the way to go

[GSUdawg521]

I was not attractive. She was very attractive. That was also probably part of it

She was a somewhat sheltered Catholic school girl and all we did is make out all the time. I think I brought her out of her shell and she was like "oh this is dating? I can do better"

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by GSUdawg521

I was not attractive. She was very attractive. That was also probably part of it

She was a somewhat sheltered Catholic school girl and all we did is make out all the time. I think I brought her out of her shell and she was like "oh this is dating? I can do better"

Yea, this happened to me, too. Was my first GF. Now she's a lesbian

[Rodey]

As a cat owner, my cat killing a baby possum and (I'm assuming bringing it inside?) would be pretty fucking traumatic.

[Speilmen230]

Do we know if the cat was ok afterwards? She may have taken it into the vet to get checked for rabies if it got fucked up despite being the winner of the exchange.

Seems like a wildly specific incident to make up to back out of a third date.

[Rodey]

Not saying she's just making up an excuse but, to me, "my cat killed a baby possum" is an oddly specific excuse if it is one. If I were making up an excuse, I wouldn't think of that. I'd just go with the obvious and say my cat killed a mouse and brought it inside.

[laura22]

god I hate the phrase “me time”

like rodey, i kinda think it might not be an excuse. justin, keep pursuing other chicks but I wouldn’t be surprised if she texts you soon to do something . how often were you guys texting?

[ToySoldier#34]

Originally Posted by Speilmen230

So are you Patrick Bateman or what?

I don't even recognize myself over the course of the last two weeks in dating life

[justinandimcool]

Rodey- that’s reassuring, I live with me roommate’s cat but don’t know many cat people to bounce theories off of lol

Spiel- not sure. he’s a bigger older cat, i’m assuming he was ok if it was just a baby possum

Laura- several times a day, usually paragraphs worth. neither of us are quick responders so it was a good pace, and always thoughtful long responses


i’ll keep thread updated if she reaches out! after talking this out so much, i’m honestly kinda over it lol unless she shows clear interest again

[Tiduwho]

Once they start putting in distance, respond in kind. Just have to hope she reaches back out on her own.



If she doesn't, and you have to send the reminder text, you are facing an uphill battle. Even if she responds with a "hey I was just thinking about you!"


Gotta call for a date at that point. If it feels like you are a backup plan, accept it and spend time on others. If you have to do back to back reach outs because she isn't reaching out herself? You're probably screwed.

[tyler3440]

Went on my first date here. Very good it seemed, but they always seem good, hopefully this one I get at least a second date out of it.

[Roose13]

Still not adjusted to Tyler being out of Mississippi now.

All kidding aside, hoping for No. 2!

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by Roose13

Still not adjusted to Tyler being out of Mississippi now.

All kidding aside, hoping for No. 2!

Thanks man!

[mdel21]

Where you living now?

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by mdel21

Where you living now?

Location: Colorado

[Speilmen230]

Roose

[mdel21]

What city in Colorado?

[cry_minarets458]

tyler, did you slip and slide through that state yet? you've been there for what 3 weeks now? should have at least 4 more notches