Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceBuckley
What I would hope everyone would takeaway from this is that no one should EVER make assumptions that what things look like on the surface is also what is going on behind the scenes- with ANY band. It is almost ALWAYS more complicated than it looks like on the surface.
I feel like Facebook has taught that over and over again on a normal, non-celebrity level, in that most people only put the good stuff and highlights out there, but then you find out the couple with perfect looking children who are always smiling in vacation pictures were like selling human organs on the black market or something. Seriously, when humans are involved, there is likely PLENTY going on behind the public face that most people have no clue about.
Then add fame, money, power and being surrounded by yes men and yes women and you have the recipe for... complicated dynamics. And often serious falls from grace.
So I understand when you just don't imagine things are bad, then being really disappointed to find out how complicated or dysfunctional they were. But maybe know now that no one knows what's not obvious, but also no one should assume that just because we don't see problems, there aren't any. Or there aren't any deep problems.
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And I guess I'll also add to this viewpoint to the above comment:
So, totally unrelated to DMB, I was friends with another band for years, and then they broke up, and then an author who was also a long-time friend of the same band was writing a book about them and someone told him to contact me. We spent about 8 hours in total over 2 days walking around that band's town, talking about them. There were the official interview questions, and then there were a LOT of "off the record" exchanges between us (because we both knew them well) where I found out that as much as I knew was dysfunctional about the band, I found out SO MUCH MORE that was even more deeply crazy than I knew. I also didn't tell the author the super private stuff I knew, because I felt like those things were for the band members themselves to share or not share. And I'm sure there's plenty he didn't tell me. But he told me a lot of what he was finding out from the interviews, probably because he knew I'd never breathe a word of it to anyone.
And just to be clear, this is a group of truly awesome humans, they are brilliant and talented and good people mostly. And still... incredibly dramatic stuff happening over the years.
When the book came out, a lot of people in their camp were upset about it, even though all the info came from them, their friends, their management, and their families. AND... as upset as they were, I just kept thinking "Really? You're upset about what was published? How about being grateful for all the shit that was NOT published!"
Not gonna say the name of the band because they truly have NOTHING to do with DMB, but I guess I just share all that as an example of just how deeply complicated things can be behind the scenes, to the point that even people behind the scenes with them can find out there is even more, further behind the scenes that was totally not known.
So I totally get being sad, or disappointed, and definitely get being surprised to find out about drama behidn the scenes with members of DMB. But maybe take away that indeed, you just never ever know what all is going on behidn the scenes with anyone. No matter how happy or together or chill a group of people seems or you find them to be when you meet them.
Don't make any assumptions, just appreciate what you know is good/great about them and chalk the rest up to "I'll react when I find out" or "TBD".