Quote:
Originally Posted by dmbdreamingtree
If you have peeped some of my recent posts in the nDMBc, you will have seen how I am trying to find out how other parents carve any semblance of a personal life out for themselves while parenting.
I have a nearly two year old and soon to have a newborn on the way. Full disclosure, love my kid like no other. That does not change the fact that I am struggling with having no life outside of parenting and work. I can't seem to imagine time for school, exercise, fun, etc for myself. My wife is handling everything so well. She doesn't really have the issues I have with zero time for fun. She thinks the whole parenting thing is fun. My buddies (from the outside) seem to be handling fathering so well. Despite feeling bogged down by parenting, I am always there as a parent and parental duties. My wife thinks i am a great father.
But i sadly am not "getting" the fun and joy in this whole parenting thing. Maybe it is the COVID lockdown as well. Maybe I'm just burned out. I hope this sentiment changes and I come around. It better as I am in for a whole new ball game with a new born on the way and our rising two year old.
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I struggled with the same thing when our second was born. Whatever little time you think you have now it's about to shrink exponentially with 2. The first few months are hard with the newborn and a toddler (ours was 3) but things eventually settle down.
The key for us was working as a team and finding time to do what you like. You obviously have a primary responsibility to your family but I'm also a big proponent of taking care of yourself too. I like to run so I run on my lunch breaks while the kids are at day care. I took up guitar during covid so I found virtual lessons that are offered after the kids bedtime. My wife loves yoga so I encourage her to take whatever time she needs while I take the two kids. She does the same when I try to get out golfing (not that often).
I understand our situations are not the same but I would suggest talking to your wife. She may be feeling the same and above all things, this will likely only make you a better team mate as you take care of your growing family.