Quote:
Originally Posted by schreiber89
Kramer: (Telling story to Elaine) So I fell down - ruining the very pants I was on my way to return
Elaine: You were wearing the pants you were going to return? What were you going to do after?
Kramer: Elaine! Are you listening - I never got to the store!
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I love the version he tells after he sells his stories to Peterman:
KRAMER: Ohh kay! Well, you know, I had Bob Saccamano on the phone, and I suddenly realized that I- (Elaine stops him)
ELAINE: You can't tell that story now. It belongs to Peterman.
KRAMER: What do ya mean?
ELAINE: You signed the release.
KRAMER: Yeah.
ELAINE: He sat in mud. Not you.
KRAMER: But I did sit in mud.
ELAINE: (Stern) Ya didn't! You never sat in mud!
KRAMER: (Pleading) I was all dirty!
ELAINE: It ever happened! Understand?
(Kramer's friends get restless, and beg for the rest of the story)
KRAMER: (To crowd) Hey, hey, hey! All right! Yeah, uh, yeah.. well.. Uh, the pants. they, uh, they fit, uh, well - and so I, uh, decided I wasn't gonna return them!
(Laughs) Wooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
(The crowd is disappointed)