Most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

[smokew11]

I was dating this girl and we were hanging out having some drinks and watching a movie. It was a long movie and for some reason I drank a LOT. We hooked up, and she convinced me to stay over at her parents because I was too drunk to drive. I had never stayed there before at this point, and didn't have her parents "permission", but she convinces me to stay in their finished attic/rec room. I go down to use the bathroom, come back upstairs and pass out on the couch with my pants halfway down. Wake up the next day, give her a kiss, leave. Get a call about 3 hours later. When I went down to the bathroom, apparently I went into her bedroom and pissed in her trashcan. Tried to blame the (20 lb) dog, didn't get away with it. She was pretty ticked off since she had to clean it out.

8 years later and we're celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary in a few days

[Drwbllz]

Originally Posted by smokew11

I was dating this girl and we were hanging out having some drinks and watching a movie. It was a long movie and for some reason I drank a LOT. We hooked up, and she convinced me to stay over at her parents because I was too drunk to drive. I had never stayed there before at this point, and didn't have her parents "permission", but she convinces me to stay in their finished attic/rec room. I go down to use the bathroom, come back upstairs and pass out on the couch with my pants halfway down. Wake up the next day, give her a kiss, leave. Get a call about 3 hours later. When I went down to the bathroom, apparently I went into her bedroom and pissed in her trashcan. Tried to blame the (20 lb) dog, didn't get away with it. She was pretty ticked off since she had to clean it out.

8 years later and we're celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary in a few days

Way to mark your territory and establish dominance!

[Roose13]

That is awesome, smoke

[M. Steng]

Just thought of another one.

My first year of law school, I had a class with a real bitch of a professor. Con Law 1 was the class, I believe. She had this system of calling on people during class where she'd just go row-by-row. The shittiest thing about this class was that one of the sessions was Friday at like 8:30 a.m. Which in the real world is not early, but in the school world is pretty early. Problem was, me and my buddies had tied one on really good the night before, so I was BRUTALLY hungover. Like, probably still legally drunk when I drove to class that morning type hungover. Of course, I hadn't done the reading for class the night before. She usually got through 5-6 people per class and I was maybe 8-10 people away, so I thought I was good. No way kimosabe. Got sniped with like 5 minutes left in class and my brain was in such a pretzel that I ended up rambling for basically the duration of class trying to snake my way into something resembling the right answer. So after a few minutes she finally cuts me off and goes, "Ok, we're just going to forget about everything he just said and start again next class. Have a good weekend." And the whole class started dying laughing. I was so hungover that I didn't really care but god-damn was it embarrassing the next class having to walk in and face all these nerds

My buddies roasted me so hard over that for the next few years. Well-deserved. Coulda been any one of us, though.

[GSUdawg521]

Originally Posted by smokew11

I was dating this girl and we were hanging out having some drinks and watching a movie. It was a long movie and for some reason I drank a LOT. We hooked up, and she convinced me to stay over at her parents because I was too drunk to drive. I had never stayed there before at this point, and didn't have her parents "permission", but she convinces me to stay in their finished attic/rec room. I go down to use the bathroom, come back upstairs and pass out on the couch with my pants halfway down. Wake up the next day, give her a kiss, leave. Get a call about 3 hours later. When I went down to the bathroom, apparently I went into her bedroom and pissed in her trashcan. Tried to blame the (20 lb) dog, didn't get away with it. She was pretty ticked off since she had to clean it out.

8 years later and we're celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary in a few days

Similar-ish story, a friend of mine got drunk at his apartment in college with various other people. He passed out in the living room or something. In the middle of the night, he woke up and I guess thought he was in his room, where he would typically walk out, hang a left, and be in the bathroom to take a piss. Turned out he pissed directly on a girl who was passed out on his sofa. Then he went upstairs and went to bed. When they woke up in the morning the girl was gone and I don't think they ever heard anything about it from her.

[aeroshady]

Interesting thread. The most embarrassed I have ever been would be anytime I misread a girl and went for it. That is always awkward, but luckily only happened twice in my life and with girls I was not that in to. It is also rough the other way around, but less embarrassing for you.

The most embarrassing thing I have ever DONE would probably have to be the time I kicked a cop car in the middle of Boston....with a cop in it....

[thebridge15]

Originally Posted by recentlyJTR41

Getting caught sneaking out of a girls house and her dad shooting a shotgun in the air while I was in HS

did you ever go back

[GSUdawg521]

One thing that comes to mind is asking a girl out in college and we just met at a student center cafe kinda place and spent a while talking over a coffee or whatever. I walked her back to her dorm and we both went in for a hug, only both our faces went the same way. It was an awkward moment with an awkward laugh and as we separated to leave she said something like "whoa, pick a side, bud!" or something. I felt like she thought I was trying to kiss her, and I think I fumbled through saying something like "I wasn't... you went... not trying to... I swear"

Never heard from her again. But if that's all it took, she probably wasn't that into me anyway, or she was petty. I dunno.

[Roose13]

1) Back when I was in high school I got caught by a cop with a naked girl on top of me in a car. I was the shy type back then so I sheepishly apologized a hundred times. Luckily he just sternly told us to head home. Fucker cock blocked me

I have a few others probably that are small but embarrassing.

2) In college my freshman year, my floormates and I all went out drinking at a party. And of course, what 19-year-old didn't get hammered in those days. Well we all stopped at a Wawa (picture 7/11 but with way better food for you non South Jersey/Philly area people). My fat drunken ass orders a sandwich, pays, begins eating it there and starts ordering more food! Of course I get back to my dorm, ate half of my other food and started to feel crappy so I lied down. Yea, don't lie down with a full stomach because when the room starts spinning, bad shit happens.

I know I have to puke so I run out my bedroom door. I throw up in the hallway and then make it to the bathroom where I throw up and made a mess of the bathroom. There's chunks of food everywhere and it's fucking gross. Then I realized I locked myself out of my room. So I had to knock on the door of the RA, shirtless, covered in vomit at like 2am to have him go get the master key to let me back in. As he gets the key I tried to clean up as best as I can.

Thank God the RA was cool because I could have gotten in serious trouble. He genuinely liked our group of guys, because despite being stupid 18-19 y/o's, we were respectful and never trashed the place or acted like assholes. My floormates were pissed because this was a Friday night and the cleaning lady wasn't working until Monday so the hallway stunk for a few days. And she was pissed too on Monday.

[recentlyJTR41]

Originally Posted by thebridge15

did you ever go back

Helllll no

Actually a couple days before I had met this girl who I would end up dating for a long ass time and that was a sign that I needed to just try it with this new girl.

[TheLastPig]

One that I forgot about because I have absolutely no recollection of it.

Freshman year went to a party with my roommate and a couple kids from my floor. I think it was a pong tourney but they were also selling jello shots. I crushed so many of them and the night got spotty.

My roommate and I went back to our dorm before our other friends, I was considerably more drunk than him so I plopped on the bed and he wanted to go get McDonalds and offered to grab me some. Last thing I remember is him coming back in the room and me staring at the nuggets and coke on my desk, but ended up passing out before I touched them. Woke back up in the same spot, thinking nothing happened.

Some time after my roommate passed out, blacked out me walked out of my room in just boxers and apparently pissed directly on my dorm neighbors door/floor in the hallway. The same guys ended up coming up the elevator, which was down the hall from my dorm, and found me standing in the hall, again in boxers only, because I apparently couldnt get back into my room since I didnt have my key. I have no clue how long I couldve been standing there before they came up. They told me they had to bang on the door for like 5 minutes to wake my roommate up to let me back in, then they discovered the piss on the carpet right at the entry to their room.

Lived with both of those guys for the remaining 3 years of college as well :lo

I am still baffled by how this all went down to this day.

[mthawk07]

Years ago, a friend of mine set me up on a blind-ish date with this girl. I had seen a picture of her and texted/called with her a bit to set up the date, but that was it. So we were going to have lunch at this Mexican restaurant, and I arrived there first like a good date would. When I got there, I told the host I was waiting on someone and sat in the lobby. A few minutes later, a girl walks in, and I swear to this day she looked EXACTLY like the one I was meeting that I had seen in the picture. Anyway, I walk up to this girl, smile, say hi to her, and she smiles back and says hi, clearly a little confused. I walk up to the host stand with her like I'm about to get a table, and she turns back around and says, "Oh, were you in line already?" That's about when it hit me that this wasn't the girl I was meeting, and now the host, who knows I was waiting for someone, knows that I've just "met up with" the completely wrong person. Needless to say I bolted out the front door.

When the actual girl I was waiting on showed up maybe 2 minutes later, I told her I wasn't feeling Mexican and we ended up going out to a Thai place down the street. I told her the story of why we couldn't go back into the Mexican place and she thought it was hilarious. We saw each other a few more times, but it turned out we weren't a good fit. Now I'm married to the woman of my dreams, and I never mistook her for someone else. The end.

[TheLastStop123]

I accidentally peed on my elementary school math book. took it into the bathroom to study while I was taking a dump and lost the grip on my shaft and it went everywhere. soaked a couple of pages and it was definitely noticeable - had to tell my teacher it was water

[salrx95]

Originally Posted by chadizzy1

I was on a road trip cross country and stopped in this small town in Arizona for gas. I was busy with my kids and finished getting gas and drove off. But I brought something with me. The gas nozzle and hose - ripped out of the pump. I drove back and returned it when I realized it 5 minutes later and told them I would pay for any damages and left my info but they never called. It was like 3 years ago so I guess it all worked out.

But now anytime I leave a gas pump I always look back before I put the car in drive to make sure the nozzle is put up.

I actually did that myself once, too. Was filling up my BMW (and I actually didn't have it that long at the time) before leaving for six flags, and I started to drive off. All of a sudden,I see the attendant come running out and sadly, noticed my error shortly after. Paid the guy $40 for the hose and went on my way.

I was so relieved no damage done to the car.

[KevinTH]

In 7th grade (not a big school and mostly all the same kids I knew since kindergarten) I went on a freaking two day rampage and asked out 8 girls. I was rejected 8 times. The whole class spent an entire art class teasing me about it and I had to leave the classroom I was so upset.

I started dating a girl at a Texas Roadhouse I worked at and we fell hard pretty fast and were pretty much inseparable. One slow night I was hanging around the little wall that surrounded the bar watching a bit of the Sox game when the girl comes over and starts flirting and getting a bit touchy. Now I'm all for a good time, but there's two people sitting directly behind us eating their dinner, so we're laughing and I tell her to cut it. Then she just goes all in and grabs my crotch at which point I laugh and walk away. Flash forward a couple days, she's off at a lake house with her girlfriends and I've completely forgotten about the grabbing. I get a heads up text from my brother right before my shift (who also worked there and was already in) saying that there was an email that was presented to everyone at the pre-shift "alley rally" regarding PDA on the floor. Turns out the two people behind us were secret shoppers and reported the two of us. They blacked out our names in the email, but everyone knew it was us. I walked in that night and everyone was just staring at me, and most of the girls looked at me like a POS. Then I was taken in the office and suspended for a week. She got suspended too when she got back, but I was treated like absolute crap for what happened (I was the new guy the managers didn't like and she had been working there since they opened). I found out after I was suspended they hung the email up in the kitchen for everyone to read. They made me feel like I was a complete dirt bag, when all I did was stand there and tell her to quit...10 years later she's still grabbing my crotch and we celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary next month. Our friend ripped the email down for us and we still have it.

[M. Steng]

Originally Posted by KevinTH

In 7th grade (not a big school and mostly all the same kids I knew since kindergarten) I went on a freaking two day rampage and asked out 8 girls. I was rejected 8 times. The whole class spent an entire art class teasing me about it and I had to leave the classroom I was so upset.

I started dating a girl at a Texas Roadhouse I worked at and we fell hard pretty fast and were pretty much inseparable. One slow night I was hanging around the little wall that surrounded the bar watching a bit of the Sox game when the girl comes over and starts flirting and getting a bit touchy. Now I'm all for a good time, but there's two people sitting directly behind us eating their dinner, so we're laughing and I tell her to cut it. Then she just goes all in and grabs my crotch at which point I laugh and walk away. Flash forward a couple days, she's off at a lake house with her girlfriends and I've completely forgotten about the grabbing. I get a heads up text from my brother right before my shift (who also worked there and was already in) saying that there was an email that was presented to everyone at the pre-shift "alley rally" regarding PDA on the floor. Turns out the two people behind us were secret shoppers and reported the two of us. They blacked out our names in the email, but everyone knew it was us. I walked in that night and everyone was just staring at me, and most of the girls looked at me like a POS. Then I was taken in the office and suspended for a week. She got suspended too when she got back, but I was treated like absolute crap for what happened (I was the new guy the managers didn't like and she had been working there since they opened). I found out after I was suspended they hung the email up in the kitchen for everyone to read. They made me feel like I was a complete dirt bag, when all I did was stand there and tell her to quit...10 years later she's still grabbing my crotch and we celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary next month. Our friend ripped the email down for us and we still have it.

Great story Kev

[Lee3691]

Once I went to pay for about $100 worth of groceries, when I realized I did not have my wallet on me. Knowing it must have been in my car, I told the cashier to hold on while I went to get my wallet. It wasn't in the car, so I did the only thing a respectable human being would do - I drove home, and didn't frequent that particular grocery store for about 6 months.

[daveshookme]

admitted I like DMB.

[dmb9howell]

Originally Posted by scrock25

Been hospitalized for alcohol consumption... twice.

[mandy18]

Originally Posted by Lee3691

Once I went to pay for about $100 worth of groceries, when I realized I did not have my wallet on me. Knowing it must have been in my car, I told the cashier to hold on while I went to get my wallet. It wasn't in the car, so I did the only thing a respectable human being would do - I drove home, and didn't frequent that particular grocery store for about 6 months.

I did that once as well.
Only I explained that I forgot my purse. They set my groceries to the side, I drove home, got my purse and drove back and paid for my groceries.

[rconverse]

These stories are pretty funny.

I guess mine would be for an incident that ultimately got me kicked off campus my senior year. Just imagine ol' drunken fat face here calling the head RA fat and instructing her on where the twinkie stand was on campus. Oh, man. I still cringe when I think about it. (Not that it makes it okay, but I was blackout drunk at the time. Thank GOD I went to school when there were no camera phones.)

[Tiduwho]

I dont do drugs at all, certainly not when I was still in college and knew little, but accidentally smoked PCP (or something crazy) at Alpine. Never partake when a sketchy looking Wook hands you something and says "Dont worry man...Dave Matthews."

[Lee3691]

Originally Posted by mandy18

I did that once as well.
Only I explained that I forgot my purse. They set my groceries to the side, I drove home, got my purse and drove back and paid for my groceries.

You are a much more responsible person than I am (or really was). Also, I may or may not have been stoned. Luckily, where I lived in Los Angeles at that time, I had about 8 groceries stores within about a 7 min drive.

[rconverse]

Originally Posted by smokew11

I was dating this girl and we were hanging out having some drinks and watching a movie. It was a long movie and for some reason I drank a LOT. We hooked up, and she convinced me to stay over at her parents because I was too drunk to drive. I had never stayed there before at this point, and didn't have her parents "permission", but she convinces me to stay in their finished attic/rec room. I go down to use the bathroom, come back upstairs and pass out on the couch with my pants halfway down. Wake up the next day, give her a kiss, leave. Get a call about 3 hours later. When I went down to the bathroom, apparently I went into her bedroom and pissed in her trashcan. Tried to blame the (20 lb) dog, didn't get away with it. She was pretty ticked off since she had to clean it out.

8 years later and we're celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary in a few days

I don't know. I think you might have been good.

[defcon]

Well, other than existing...my father failing to pull out, my mother failing to get an abortion, etc...

Last weekend (yes, 4th of Julyish) my company flew me out to Columbus, OH for a conference. As per usual, as soon as I crossed into Ohio airspace I became violently ill. With me having to do a 15-minutes of fame speech the next morning bright and fucking early I took some pepto and tried to sleep. After being up all night, it was time for me to roll. I thought all the crap (literally) was out of me, but when it came time to give the morning speech, I gave no regard to the copious amounts of coffee I had drank this far.

Try and try as I might to fight off violent contractions, I sharted in the middle of my speech. You could hear it. You could smell it. You could even taste it...and I'm sure the look on my face was golden. I finished that speech, and then I sat down in my own shit. Granted, it was pure liquid and likely mostly brownwater at that point, but I'm not going to go running to the bathroom if it's not a full-on sewage spill. I sat through all this, only to beat a hasty exit when the meeting was convened, relegating myself to my room for the duration of the trip.

For some stupid reason, we flew a very short hop to Cincinnati for our layover. I mean, it was a 15 minute flight. Curious why I was suddenly better, I found out the airport is actually in Northern Kentucky.

[M. Steng]

Originally Posted by defcon

Well, other than existing...my father failing to pull out, my mother failing to get an abortion, etc...

Last weekend (yes, 4th of Julyish) my company flew me out to Columbus, OH for a conference. As per usual, as soon as I crossed into Ohio airspace I became violently ill. With me having to do a 15-minutes of fame speech the next morning bright and fucking early I took some pepto and tried to sleep. After being up all night, it was time for me to roll. I thought all the crap (literally) was out of me, but when it came time to give the morning speech, I gave no regard to the copious amounts of coffee I had drank this far.

Try and try as I might to fight off violent contractions, I sharted in the middle of my speech. You could hear it. You could smell it. You could even taste it...and I'm sure the look on my face was golden. I finished that speech, and then I sat down in my own shit. Granted, it was pure liquid and likely mostly brownwater at that point, but I'm not going to go running to the bathroom if it's not a full-on sewage spill. I sat through all this, only to beat a hasty exit when the meeting was convened, relegating myself to my room for the duration of the trip.

For some stupid reason, we flew a very short hop to Cincinnati for our layover. I mean, it was a 15 minute flight. Curious why I was suddenly better, I found out the airport is actually in Northern Kentucky.

There is a less than zero percent chance this story has even a shred of truth to it.

[smokew11]

Originally Posted by rconverse

I don't know. I think you might have been good.

yeah

[defcon]

Originally Posted by M. Steng

There is a less than zero percent chance this story has even a shred of truth to it.

Well, Mr. Counselor, why don't you state your case? You have the burden of proof. The onus is on you.

edit: It is not possible to have a less than zero chance of anything. Not mathematically, not scientifically. Intelligent statement though.

[Roose13]

Originally Posted by M. Steng

There is a less than zero percent chance this story has even a shred of truth to it.

[tyler3440]

Originally Posted by smokew11

I was dating this girl and we were hanging out having some drinks and watching a movie. It was a long movie and for some reason I drank a LOT. We hooked up, and she convinced me to stay over at her parents because I was too drunk to drive. I had never stayed there before at this point, and didn't have her parents "permission", but she convinces me to stay in their finished attic/rec room. I go down to use the bathroom, come back upstairs and pass out on the couch with my pants halfway down. Wake up the next day, give her a kiss, leave. Get a call about 3 hours later. When I went down to the bathroom, apparently I went into her bedroom and pissed in her trashcan. Tried to blame the (20 lb) dog, didn't get away with it. She was pretty ticked off since she had to clean it out.

8 years later and we're celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary in a few days

That was a fantastic story smoke.