DaveSpeak... NOTHING but DaveSpeak

[rockyracoon]

'so , a lot of people think elvis is the king... elvis is the king.... americans consider elvis as the king.... but what i want to know is.... who is the burger king?' 4/1/03

[hazy_10]

"Incase you didn't hear that, apparently theres a group of guys up there who need to wee."

After Halloween was yelled at 3-31-2003. One of the many from this show.

peace

[smallwaise]

Originally posted by rockyracoon
'so , a lot of people think elvis is the king... elvis is the king.... americans consider elvis as the king.... but what i want to know is.... who is the burger king?' 4/1/03

[reddog984]

"GUNSMOKE..... POW"

Fan in crowd: DAVE FOR PRESIDENT!
Dave: uh, NO! If I was president though, I would just take everything out of the oval office and put bean bag chairs everywhere." (Sort of something like that). -Radio City 3-23-03

[GatorMark]

"so that acid i dropped earlier today is starting to kick in"

"get the FUCK outta here!"

[watchtower41]

some kid in the crowd.....3.28.03

It's 4:20!!!! DJM- I can't confirm that.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

DJM 3.22.03--"Smells like someone has been smoking marijuana."


Crowd- Want a hit Dave????

DJM---"There are worse things that I could think of doing right now."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
DJM 3.28.03 Referring to tripping "Its something I really don't do that often anymore......but I will do anything around Timmy."

[bricks31]

"they eat food and drink wine like the rest of us, but there aliens, dont let anybody fool you"- 3/29/03 referring to the blue men

[#40 Always]

"We got some cameras here too, hope that something good happens. So I hope they aren't too invasive, but if they are you can register your complaints with......your mama!!! DJM 4-3-03

[bdmb0814]

"I saw an elephant once pounding his own chest with his enormous erection. It was quite a miracle of nature. I mean I would've hated to be caught between the head of that johnson and the chest of that elephant. But in all seriousness, if you ever come across that, you refer to it as Mr. Johnson."

[ComeNDnceWithMe]

"Although I had a few in my shirt walking up, trying to get through my armpit, I was ignoring it. Cause, you know, I'm from Africa, and I can take that kind of stuff. Ya'll are like: "Ew, it's a bug." It's a bug, exactly. It's a frickin' bug!! What the hell is it gonna do to ya! It's a frickin' bug!

[darbini]

"My cousin hit a cow in his porsche. Was his dad's porsche. Scooped it up, threw it up in the air, he was shocked! Landed on one of those...road signs, split it right down the middle. Cow spilled all over the highway, but the cow is a resiliant animal. The cow needed medical attention. I'm not a man of guns, but my cousin was raised in a family of guns and the only medicne he had with him at the time was a 38-Special. I'm a man of the pen more than the gun, but he had to shoot the cow. I could do some seriouos damage with a pen though. But I probably couldn't kill a cow, unless I had a long, long time. And I think the outcome would be somewhat uncertain, as to which of us would prevail, in the battle. Needless to say my cousin was victorious, but not quickly. This is a bit of a morbid story but the cow has a small brain. And so there were several passages that passed threw the cow before the brain was found. But eventually it was found, and the cow moved on to greener pastures. Unfortunately, it was not the case for my cousin, although his father was pleased that he survived. He had yet another ordeal to go though. And I'm sure that my Uncle was tempted to use the same technique on my cousin, that he had used on the cow, maybe without the porsche. Sorry it just popped in my head......Actually someone asked me to tell a story about a Porsche and that's the only one I could think of"



~DJM 3-29-03

[ChildOfMusic]

Originally posted by #40 Always
"We got some cameras here too, hope that something good happens. So I hope they aren't too invasive, but if they are you can register your complaints with......your mama!!! DJM 4-3-03

I had a, this is very commin I think. I had a x-ray of my head, so then they could show me pictures of my head, inside of my fed. It's nasty lookin right? Anyways this side of my face, thats why my head hurts on the airplane. This side of my face, the hole doesn't work, so uh it's all filled in with extra flesh. So on the picture of the inside of my face, all the little pictures you could see all the (doctor's voice) you see this, this grey area here, it should be black like this area over here, which is air but it's all filled in. And then he said (doctor voice)we could fix that. (dave voice)and I said well ive lasted this long, theres no way i wanna let you go inside of my face unless thats somehow necessary (doctor voice) If theres an infection. (dave voice) If theres an infection you can go into my face, but theres no infection right now, stay out of my face. A 1/2 inch of air or an inch of air. I don't know how do you mesure it?? It just goes faster through this nostril than it would otherwise, its got a bionic nostril on this side......

D&T after "The Stone" don't know the date, but I know it's not from this tour.

[LetMeDown]

08/07/98, Starwood Amphitheater, Antioch, TN----"Y'all look like you got velcro on your asses"

12/98, WBCN Boston----(When asked what he's doing for Christmas) "I'm going home. To my lover, my mother, my sister and uh.. not all the same person I might add."

03/05/93----“Your Jimi thing can be anything you want it to be. Boyd has a big Jimi Thing. Mine is not as big as Boyd’s.”

8.1.99 - (after Crash Into Me) (to a member of the audience) "I didn't mean to curve that at you. I tried to kick it Long, you know like one of those European soccer goalies. The ball was sittin' up here and I kicked it long. I thought it was gonna go like out to the middle of the grass over there, and I beamed this lady right here right in her pretty little face! It was just like BAM! What was that?!? Everything went dark..."

[strezadm]

Cow Palace, Cow Palace, this is where you can shit on the floor! (Something to that extent)

Romance, puppy love, and boogers!

How y'all doing this evening. Hope everyone is enjoying those $7.00 beers!

[newscane]

Originally posted by ChildOfMusic



I had a, this is very commin I think. I had a x-ray of my head, so then they could show me pictures of my head, inside of my fed. It's nasty lookin right? Anyways this side of my face, thats why my head hurts on the airplane. This side of my face, the hole doesn't work, so uh it's all filled in with extra flesh. So on the picture of the inside of my face, all the little pictures you could see all the (doctor's voice) you see this, this grey area here, it should be black like this area over here, which is air but it's all filled in. And then he said (doctor voice)we could fix that. (dave voice)and I said well ive lasted this long, theres no way i wanna let you go inside of my face unless thats somehow necessary (doctor voice) If theres an infection. (dave voice) If theres an infection you can go into my face, but theres no infection right now, stay out of my face. A 1/2 inch of air or an inch of air. I don't know how do you mesure it?? It just goes faster through this nostril than it would otherwise, its got a bionic nostril on this side......

D&T after "The Stone" don't know the date, but I know it's not from this tour.

It's 2.7.99. Bucknell University.

[ChildOfMusic]

Thank you

[siserilla]

top b/c these are great and i know people have some more

[DmBillies41]

Don't know if this is a repeat but:

Boyd: I could use some more LeRoi please
Dave: I could use some more pussy

-Some soundcheck

[Kineke_11]

Originally posted by DmBillies41
Don't know if this is a repeat but:

Boyd: I could use some more LeRoi please
Dave: I could use some more pussy

-Some soundcheck

haha thats so fucking great....this is my all time favorite thread, i just cannot get enough!!!

lates, anne

[The_Last_Stop]

Originally posted by Rob
"Look at all the pink balloons! Pink balloons don't remind me of pigs... They remind me of... PUSSY!"

6-16-01 Foxboro IEM

good stuff:

[hazy_10]

Originally posted by DmBillies41
Don't know if this is a repeat but:

Boyd: I could use some more LeRoi please
Dave: I could use some more pussy

-Some soundcheck

Feel good on your dick.

You'll feel good on my dick later on.

[NYBlackCat]

"Now I'm gonna introduce you to Soulive...who are gonna start things off for us. They're probably one of the best bands in the world...and certainly one of the baddest bands in the uuuuuuuuuuniverse!"

[Melly420]

To some guy yelling in the crowd-

"Hey buddy I am gonna come over there and cut your balls off if you don't shut the hell up"

09/11/92, DKE House
"Could I have been.. a beachfront property"

08/10/93, The Floodzone
(starts playing i'll back you up and there's some loud sound coming out of the speakers)
"You know when you're making love with your girlfriend and the dog comes up and licks your balls? that's what that feels like."(proceeds to play Best of What's Around)
------------------
Great thread!

-----------------------
~*Melly*~
Post #7.. working my way up to posting whoredom

[Zulu]

Random person in the crowd: "Alfred!"

Dave: "Someone just said Alfred. What is Alfred? It's an inside joke between me and...Alfred."

10.14.01 before When The World Ends

[dmbkristin]

"In Margaritaville, is that the song you’re looking for? Wasted away, in Margaritaville. I went to Margaritaville once. I think, not exactly sure. Did you get a tattoo? See he also went to Margaritaville, only he came back with a tattoo. The tattoo might as well have said ‘dumbass’ but it probably didn’t.”
-Dave, 3.19.03

[ThatGuyRon68]

"I'm sorry for seeming a little crazy, I kinda hurt my hand, and the doctor gave me a lot of steriods that got me all fucking crazy. Then I smoked a lot of fucking pot and that got me REALLY fucking crazy."

[dmb1spe]

Guy in the crowd at D&T: "Hey Dave!!!"

Dave (Low and intimidating): "What?"

(Couple second pause) Guy: "Nevermind..."

[Nautiest_monkey]

"I'd like you to meet my new friend, once you meet him he never leaves, his name is jack daniels"

[#36firedancer]

"How you guys feelin'? Taste good, Timmy! (high voice) He's so nasty! Settle down, settle down..."

"Y'all ever heard of the Blue Men? I know those guys... Yep, they're a cooky bunch. There's lots of Blue Men now; kinda like the Beatles and Beatlemania. But there's still only 3 Blue Men in my heart; they're the ones I know. And they eat food and drink wine just like the rest of us... But they're aliens! Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. That's why I'm sayin - Beatles, Beatlemania - cause those first 3 guys, they don't live here on earth. They have earth names; that's just to spin us off in the wrong direction. But you watch; there're gonna be more and more Blue Men amongst us. And you won't know because they could be wearing make-up and they could look just like you and me; but they're just a little bit different. But beware! It's okay if there's just a couple of 'em, but then all of a sudden, they're everywhere and they throw off their make-up and all of a sudden, what the hell are we gonna do? I figure, I figure, I figure if I treat them really well now, ya know, the horrible histories that've happened won't repeat themselves. Everything is gonna be okay. If you find out your neighbor is a Blue Man, just be cool; like the Fonz! You laugh now, you laugh now, but let me tell you *gasps* everything will change... But this is, for that and many other reasons, this is my new philosophy. *shrugs*"

-both from Boone 3/29/03

[sarah78]

Originally posted by DMBzilla


"I just quit smoking, I haven't had one in a couple weeks. During the day it's real easy, but I'll get two beers into the evening and then I'm suddenly like, 18th century poet boy...Day guy gets all mad, he's like, don't smoke, it's bad, and then night guy comes around and says, 'Fuck You.' "

Both 2-7-99, Bucknell University

So, did he really quit smoking or does he still smoke?

These are the best